Failed Blogger!

I have decided I am a failed blogger. I just can't find the time to update! It seems like every time I sit and decide to write, I get pulled away doing other things! So, I am going to update a lot in this one!
Lets see where to start...

The last weekend in April we went Vegas!! I couldn't rant and rave about it before hand, because it was a surprise for my sister's 30th Birthday. She didn't know we were all going until she got to the airport and we were all waiting there. By all I mean, family and friends, I think there was 14 of us! It was such a great surprise and we had an awesome time! We stayed at the Hard Rock Hotel and partied with many celebrities including, Paris and Nikki Hilton and Lil' Jon! And while we were there I got my first TATTOO!!! It hurt like Hell, but I became addicted and already want another one!!

Waiting...SO SCARED!!

Tattoo Artist getting ready....

The Outline...marker only....

And he starts....Holding my husband's and brother's hands

Color

I don't have a picture of the finished product...I don't want to take one now because its healing and looks horrible. When it looks healed and stops peeling I will add a picture! I have to give credit to the tattoo artist who did it. He did such an amazing job, it looks like its air brushed on. People have even asked me if it real! I got the tattoo done in our hotel at Hart & Huntington. They are a more famous place, even have their own show!!

And some more good news came out of this Vegas trip. I was relaxing so much that my body decided to do some things on its own and I got a period!! Bad timing while on vacation, but who cares. I did nothing to bring it on, so hopefully it will continue. I was going to start taking my temps, BUT decided against it thanks from the advice from my good friend Amy! I am on a break and I will do NOTHING fertility related on my break. If you start doing things like that, then it just gives you a reminder everyday and you never get away from it. I don't need any reminders, I just need to relax and enjoy this time!

Last week, May 3rd, Eli and I had our 2 year Anniversary! I can't believe it has been two years already. It has gone by so fast! I love you Babe, thanks for everything you do. You are an amazing man and my very best friend. I love you with all of my heart! Hugs & Kisses and Happy Anniversary! I did work on our Anniversary, but came home to 2 dozen roses! I am so lucky!!

Well, that's most of what I wanted to update on! I am still going to try and be a better blogger, but for now I have failed!! Sorry!!

Love,

Kristen

Consult Appointment

A little update from last Friday:

I had been contemplating over having the ovarian drilling done since the idea was brought up to me. Last week I called Dr. Malo's office and asked if I could get more information on the surgery. The nurse stated that Dr. Malo doesn't perform that type of surgery himself, and that I should talk to my primary doctor. So I called Dr. Baram's office and he said he wanted me to make an appointment with him so we could talk about it, said it was a confusing subject. My appointment with him was last Friday. We went over some of the things I have done and then talked about the future. He said he isn't totally against the surgery and would do it but agrees with Dr. Malo; if we have the money and opportunity to do IVF than do that instead. He said there isn't really much information on the surgery and really no good evidence to back it up. He said they used to do ovarian wedge resections all the time, which is similar, but they don't perform that surgery much anymore because of complications.
I left the appointment with a definite answer about what I would do. No more going back and forth contemplating. I will NOT be having the surgery done. We will just wait until we have the opportunity to do IVF. I feel good about this choice and glad I seen my primary doctor about this and got his opinion.
In the mean time we aren't stopping trying to get pregnant we just aren't doing any treatments, so keep praying for that miracle!

Love, Kristen & Eli

Love you Babe!

Thanks for everything you do for me lijah! I love you more that words can say. I thank my lucky stars at night that I have you in my life. You are amazing and I'm so glad you are mine. Love you lots!

Love, your wife

Trying Harder

I am horrible at keeping up with my blog! I am sorry! I know people have asked for me to keep up with it better, and I am going to try! Since not much is going on in our "fertility world" I will update on other things happening in our lives!

We are still on our 'break' from everything, still going good. Spoiling ourselves in other ways right now. Eli bought a brand new Harley and has been spending much time on that. I love that spring/summer is coming but I never see my husband around this time of year. Is it weird to be jealous of a bike?? Ha! I on the other hand just got a brand new vehicle! I wanted something bigger then a car, thinking about our future :) So thanks to my lovely husband who spoils me rotten, I got a brand new 2010 fully loaded Ford Edge! I absolutely LOVE it!

Of course I had to get white. I have always had white vehicles, I didn't want to venture out and try something new now would I?? Not like me!

Love, Kristen

??Confused??

Most have asked us whats next?? Well, we are not sure and we don't even have that answer yet. I had a consultation with Dr. Malo about 2.5 weeks ago and asked the same thing "whats next?". He gave me three options:

1. Continue with injections and IUIs for a couple of more cycles
2. Go through a procedure/surgery called Ovarian Drilling
3. Invitro Fertilization

Eli and I talked and decided we are done with injections and IUIs. We did 7 cycles and although they were not all "good" cycles with "good" chances for a pregnancy we emotionally have gone through 7 cycles and that is enough.

Do we do ovarian drilling?? Its a surgery that involves a laser or cautery that makes holes into the ovaries to drain some of the cysts. Its practiced all the time in Europe and about 80% of the time it works, making you "Suzy Q regular" with regular periods, cycles and ovulation. And the other 20% of the time it does nothing and you waste your time on surgery that could potentially not work. It can also form scar tissue on the ovaries, adding another thing to the "list" of what is hindering my fertility. It would be good if it worked, but what if it didn't??

Then there is IVF, which costs A LOT of money, but is almost guaranteed to work and give us a baby.

We have a lot to decide on and we aren't really in any hurry. We are both enjoying this "break" and time with each other. For the last two years, the first 2 years of our marriage, we have been consumed with trying to have a baby. We haven't had time for each other or time to "be married". We had originally thought we would do IVF this August but now not so sure. Eli is having a hard time with spending the money and doesn't want to do it. Its not just the money but many other things as well. He says he misses his wife, the one he married. He misses having fun with me and not worrying month to month if we are pregnant or not. He misses me and wants me back. He knows how bad I want a baby and is willing to do IVF someday. I want us both to be ready and both feel its the right thing. He knows I will do it and is okay with that. Right now we can't put a date on it or a time limit. We need to concentrate on our marriage and mend the broken things that have happened already going through this difficult journey. Please continue to pray for us as we struggle through this thing called LIFE....

Love, Kristen & Eli

Stress Free

Things have been going well. This break has been good for me mentally and physically. I have lost over 10 lbs and have been a lot less stressful which feels like 50 lbs!! Eli and I have been staying pretty busy. He went to Wyoming for a week recently and I will be leaving next week for Florida. Its nice to be able to do what we want and go where we want, not having to worry about when we need to be home or at the doctor's office. During infertility treatments you feel like you have no control over your life. Having control back has been great! I will be going to Florida with my family; mom, grandma and aunt. We went last year and had an amazing time. I cherish every moment I get to spend with family, they mean the world to me. Last year I was on a 2 week wait and doing suppositories twice a day so I wasn't really able to relax. This year I WILL be relaxing and enjoying myself and I will even be able to have a few drinks this time around :)
I still haven't gotten a period yet so Dr. Malo does want me to take Provera to bring one on. He said it was important that I take Provera every 30-40 days to get a period. Waiting too long isn't healthy. I was in on Friday for a diagnostic ultrasound because I have been having left sided ovarian pain. The ultrasound showed a fluid filled cyst on my left tube. They ruled out a tubal pregnancy and took other blood work. Things seem to be okay, but they will check again after I get a period to see if it has resolved on its own.
As far as future plans....we really don't have any right now. I hope to be doing IVF by Fall but life and fertility are hard to plan, so we will see what happens. Right now we are focusing on each other and taking one day at a time! Keep praying for us!

Love, Kristen & Eli

New Year, New Me!

Happy New Year!! We have been so busy with all of the holidays I haven't had time to update my blog. Although we are not actively doing fertility treatments I would like to still update my blog on our family and life!
After our last fertility treatment the nurse instructed me to take Provera to get a period as soon as possible, not to have sex because of the possibility of getting pregnant on my own with that many eggs. Well, being the compliant patient that I am I didn't take the Provera right away....however we did not get pregnant. But one amazing thing happened, I GOT MY PERIOD ON MY OWN. Not with any medications, not after and ovulation induction, simply on my own. I have NEVER in my life gotten a period on my own. Hopefully, it will continue. I have started keeping track of my cycles to see what my body does on its own. Maybe the Metformin is starting to work ??? Whatever it is I hope it continues. This whole taking a break thing hasn't been so bad. I am actually liking it. Not having to go to the doctor, worry about taking an injection everyday, worrying and stressing if this month will be our month and I have felt "lighter" and more stress free lately. Although, I still do have my moments. The last one being yesterday at my mom's for New Years...to many pregnant people talking about their pregnancy....even though I am so so happy for them, its just plain hard listening to it when you want to be in their shoes so badly. No one would understand unless they have gone through it.
We hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and wish everyone good health and happiness in 2010!!

Love, Kristen & Eli