Sunday, March 7, 2010

??Confused??

Most have asked us whats next?? Well, we are not sure and we don't even have that answer yet. I had a consultation with Dr. Malo about 2.5 weeks ago and asked the same thing "whats next?". He gave me three options:
  1. Continue with injections and IUIs for a couple of more cycles
  2. Go through a procedure/surgery called Ovarian Drilling
  3. Invitro Fertilization

Eli and I talked and decided we are done with injections and IUIs. We did 7 cycles and although they were not all "good" cycles with "good" chances for a pregnancy we emotionally have gone through 7 cycles and that is enough.

Do we do ovarian drilling?? Its a surgery that involves a laser or cautery that makes holes into the ovaries to drain some of the cysts. Its practiced all the time in Europe and about 80% of the time it works, making you "Suzy Q regular" with regular periods, cycles and ovulation. And the other 20% of the time it does nothing and you waste your time on surgery that could potentially not work. It can also form scar tissue on the ovaries, adding another thing to the "list" of what is hindering my fertility. It would be good if it worked, but what if it didn't??

Then there is IVF, which costs A LOT of money, but is almost guaranteed to work and give us a baby.

We have a lot to decide on and we aren't really in any hurry. We are both enjoying this "break" and time with each other. For the last two years, the first 2 years of our marriage, we have been consumed with trying to have a baby. We haven't had time for each other or time to "be married". We had originally thought we would do IVF this August but now not so sure. Eli is having a hard time with spending the money and doesn't want to do it. Its not just the money but many other things as well. He says he misses his wife, the one he married. He misses having fun with me and not worrying month to month if we are pregnant or not. He misses me and wants me back. He knows how bad I want a baby and is willing to do IVF someday. I want us both to be ready and both feel its the right thing. He knows I will do it and is okay with that. Right now we can't put a date on it or a time limit. We need to concentrate on our marriage and mend the broken things that have happened already going through this difficult journey. Please continue to pray for us as we struggle through this thing called LIFE....

Love, Kristen & Eli

3 comments:

Journey of the George's said...

I found this post from Safe Haven. I have not went back and read your complete story but I want to comment on this post. I know the feeling of being 'consumed' with having a baby and infertility. My husband and I went through this for the first 5 years of our marriage. I do not know how the man stayed married to me!!! Looking back now I wish I could have had a handle on the 'consumed' part of it all. DO spend some time just being married. Enjoy each other. Love each other. Pray together. move forward together when you are both ready. Looking back in my own life I see how God was working...but it is so hard to see 'in the moment' sometimes. Hang tough.

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