30 Weeks

It has been 6 weeks since my last post. Sorry! Life has gotten so busy! Just when I think I can sit down to post, something comes up!

How Far Along: 30 Weeks

Size of Baby: Baby Wolfe is about 15.7 inches long and weighs about 3 pounds now!

30 Weeks: He is the size of a head of cabbage! A pint of amniotic fluid sorrounds baby now. His eyesight is continuing to develop, though its not very keen, even after he is born he will keep his eyes closed for a good part of the day. When he does open them he will respond to changes in light but will have a 20/400 vision-meaning he only will be able to make out objects a few inches from his face.

Sleep: Getting much harder! I wake up a lot during the night with horrible hip pain and can't seem to find a very comfortable position. I also wake up about 4 times each night to pee! Can't win...guess I am getting "trained" for when he comes.

Best Moment of the Week: We started painting the baby's room and have received some presents in the mail! We also got a call that the dresser and night stand are in, still waiting on the crib.

Movement: LOTS of movement! So many of my friends and family have gotten to feel him move and I love that I can share it with them! You don't even have to touch my belly you can see him move under my shirt. Sometime I just sit and stare at my belly and watch him move!

Symptoms: I am starting to get pretty uncomfortable. A lot of symptoms from first trimester are creeping back. I feel like I have no energy and tire very easy, I have started developing back pain, nausea and vomiting immediately after I eat a meal, heart burn is in full force and I find myself taking in deep breaths all the time trying to catch my breath. I hate to complain, if I have to go through this for the next 10 weeks then bring it on. I can do it, its just getting harder!

Food Cravings: Nothing in particular. I do get "obsessed" with certain foods for awhile. For example I LOVED rice krispies with a banana then it was peanut butter toast all the time, now its an apple with animal crackers.

Gender: Boy! ( However, I did have a dream it was a girl and we had to bring her home to all boy clothes and a boy room!)

What I Miss: My regular clothes, its getting harder to find something to wear that looks decent, maternity clothes are not my favorite. I am also missing Body Pump at the YMCA. This time of year many people are starting to go back to the gym as the weather gets colder. Can't wait to start working out again.

What I am Looking forward to: Getting the baby's room put together and my baby showers!

Weekly Wisdom: Eat multiple small meals and not three big ones, otherwise you will lose half the meal shortly after you eat it!

Milestone: Making it to 30 weeks!

I will try to update as often as I can, I hope not go 6 weeks without updating again. Sorry!

Love, Kristen

24 weeks

How Far Along: 24 Weeks

Size of Baby: Just over a pound!! According to the Baby Center website he gained 4 ounces in the last week!!

24 Weeks: Baby Wolfe is growing steadily. He's almost a foot long, he cuts a pretty lean figure at this point, but his body is filling out proportionally, and he'll soon start to plump. His brain is also growing quickly now, and his taste buds are continuing to develop. His lungs are developing "branches" of the respiratory "tree" as well as cells that produce surfactant, a substance that will help his air sacs inflate once he hits the outside world. His skin is still thin and translucent, but will start to change soon. (Information taken from Baby Center's website)

Belly Pic:

Sleep: Getting good sleep, besides the fact I get up every 2-3 hours to pee! Also, since I am terrified of sleeping on my back, my hips get sore which wakes me up. Position change helps this.

Best Moment of the Week: Looking at cribs online with Eli

Movement: LOTS of movement! I LOVE feeling him move, it never gets old. I am the only one who can feel him, can't feel him from the outside yet. I know this is due to my anterior placenta, but can't wait until Eli gets a chance to feel it too!

Symptoms: Round ligament pain!! Hurts pretty bad. It feels like a charlie horse that gets stuck and you can't stretch it free. I can't walk when it happens, but when it happens its only for a short time. Sitting and resting helps alleviate the pain. Heart burn!! It's immediate when I lay down at night. It comes on no matter what I have eaten that day. TUMS smoothies have been my friend lately and work well. My Doctor also suggested Zantac which I have yet to try.

Food Cravings: Yoplait Blueberry Yogurt Parfait with Granola and bananas!

Gender: Sweet baby boy

What I Miss: My regular clothes. I feel so limited to the same outfits since I am not buying a whole wardrobe of maternity clothes. I feel like I wear the same thing all the time!

What I am Looking Forward to: Registering! Hopefully in the next couple of weeks we will do this! However, I did go to Babies R' Us to look at cribs and felt VERY overwhelmed when I saw everything we need!!

Weekly Wisdom: Don't feel guilty if you have a little Diet Coke here and there ;-)

Milestone: 24 weeks, which is viability!

Love, Kristen

21 weeks and Gender Reveal

I can't believe its been almost 4 weeks since my last post!! Wow! Time is flying by! Things have been going well. We had our 20-21 week ultrasound on August 1st. Baby is growing perfectly and everything looked very well. They did have a hard time visualizing the heart, but after a couple of position changes, coughing and deep breaths they were able to see all they needed to see.

How Far Along: 21 (1/2) weeks

Size of Baby: He/She is the size of a banana (10.5 inches, 12.7 oz)

Picture of Baby: I promise to upload one soon!

21 Weeks: Baby Wolfe is now about three-quarters of a pound and is approximately 10 1/2 inches long. He/She is practicing martial arts as initial fluttering movements turn into full-fledged kicks and nudges. A pattern to his/her activity may be discovered. Baby Wolfe's eyebrows and lids are present now.

Maternity Clothes: Wearing mostly maternity clothes only, at least comfortably! I can still wear my pre-pregnancy jeans with a Bella Band, but they are getting pretty uncomfortable compared to my maternity jeans.

Belly Picture: My mom has been taking them.....I will have to get them off her camera!

Best Moment of the Week: Finding out the sex of the baby and seeing that he/she is healthy!

Symptoms: I have been feeling pretty good! However, I do get heart burn at night before bed. Tums has helped well with this. Hopefully that means this little one is busy growing lots of hair! My emotions have been crazy, I can cry at the drop of a hat....my poor husband :-)

Food Cravings: I haven't really been craving anything in particular, I am just ALWAYS hungry!

Gender: ITS A SWEET BABY BOY!!! Eli and I are thrilled and more then excited!!! We can't wait to meet him.

What I Miss: Still miss riding the Harley!

Weekly Wisdom: You don't have to cry about EVERYTHING :-)

What I am looking forward to: Registering and starting the nursery! (Did I really just say that!?!?!?!)

Milestones: Making it to 21 weeks is a milestone in itself!

I am so very thankful to have a healthy, sweet baby boy growing inside of me. I never thought this day would ever come. Thank you lord. Please continue to watch over us and bless us with your everyday miracles!

Love, Kristen & Eli

17 Weeks

How Far Along: 17(1/2) weeks

Size of Baby: He/She is the size of an onion (About 5 inches from head to bottom, not including legs!)

Picture of Baby: I promise to upload one soon!

17 Weeks: Baby Wolfe's skeleton is changing from soft cartilage to bone, and the umbilical cord - his/her lifeline to the placenta- is growing stronger and thicker. He/She can move his/her joints, and his/her sweat glands are starting to develop. Baby Wolfe has mastered some simple reflexes such as swallowing, sucking and blinking. He/She may also be getting hiccups!

Maternity Clothes: Wearing some! My pre-pregnancy pants don't fit anymore. Went maternity shopping with my Mom yesterday at my new favorite maternity store 'A Pea in the Pod'. Got some super cute jeans and white pants/capris. Still wearing all pre-pregnancy shirts/tops.

Belly Picture: Need to take one. Took one at 12 weeks, but not since then because of the scare we had.

Best Moment of the Week: Shopping with Mom for Maternity clothes. Maybe, just maybe I can start to get excited about this pregnancy!

Symptoms: I feel pretty good! However, I do get bad headaches about mid afternoon, but usually resolve with Tylenol. I have also been having horrible vivid dreams about losing the baby. Those can stop anytime now please!

Food Cravings: I LOVE Ice Cream!!

Gender: Still really thinking its a Boy...we should have our ultrasound in about 2 1/2 weeks. Can't wait to find out for sure!!

What I Miss: Still miss riding the Harley. Eli went on a trip to South Dakota this weekend on the bike and it has been hard to be at home. Really missing riding A LOT. However, I know this baby is SO worth it!

What I am looking forward to: Finding out the baby's gender!

Weekly Wisdom: I can cry at the drop of a hat! Remember how sensitive pregnancy can make you!

Milestones: Making it to 17 weeks and having no signs of a returning hemorrhage!

I have an appointment Monday. Hopefully, I will be able to schedule my 20 week ultrasound then. Please keep praying for us. Things are looking good!

Love, Kristen

Miracles

( I wrote this Monday, blogger wouldn't let me post until today! )

This is a LONG overdue post. So much has happened since the last post! Many of you who know me in person know the good news already :-)

A week ago today I had a follow-up ultrasound to look at the size of the hemorrhage. I was expecting it to be the same size, praying it wasn't any bigger. I was SO nervous, but thankfully Eli was there with me and he is always best at calming my nerves. The ultrasound tech looked at the report from the previous ultrasound, noting where the hemorrhage was seen before. Then started the ultrasound. The first words she said were "I don't see anything". WHAT!!! I was completely SHOCKED!!! What do you mean you don't see anything?? There was a huge hemorrhage there 2 weeks ago. She looked and looked, even got another ultrasound tech to look and did a vaginal ultrasound. Nothing. No bleeding. No hemorrhage. Just one perfect looking baby and one completely attached placenta! I couldn't have been happier, I just kept thanking God. Once again He performed a miracle!

Since then, I have had another OB appointment. Dr. B looked over the report from the ultrasound and reviewed the pictures. The hemorrhage is gone, for now. It may come back if that part of the placenta is some how irritated. However, as weeks go on the chance of it returning is less and less. I keep thanking God over and over and have more faith in Him then I EVER have. I have now started to enjoy being pregnant once again. I have been a little less nervous. Although, I know those nerves won't completely go away, even when baby is here happy and healthy!

Thank you all for your continued prayers! Keep praying! I will be 16 weeks on Wednesday, time seems to be flying by now. We can't wait for the next big milestone, find out baby's gender!!

Love, Kristen

Everything Happens for a Reason

No new updates on the hemorrhage....we have an ultrasound Monday for another follow-up so I will have one then. I don't expect it to have disappeared, which would be a miracle, but I do hope it hasn't grown. I am having the ultrasound done basically for my knowledge. As the doctors said, we won't change the plan if it has grown or gotten smaller. I have talked to MANY OB doctors at work and all have many different opinions on subchorionic hemorrhages. However, overall I have gotten good feedback on my situation, making things a little easier.

To ease my mind I rented a fetal heart rate Doppler. It is an amazing feeling listening to our peanut's heart beat and being able to hear him/her moving around! He/she is really easy to find, always in the same spot and always has a heart rate of 155-160. It has made me relax a little!

I feel like I should share what I have come to discover over the last 2 weeks.....it is my place with God. Growing up I was raised Catholic went to church with my mom every week, attended catechism and had a good relationship with God. I carried my beliefs as I got older, married in a catholic church and instilled my beliefs in my relationship with my husband. Then, infertility put a huge burden in my relationship with God and my beliefs. I didn't shut Him completely out of my life, but my relationship wasn't as strong with Him. Those 3 years I was mad at Him. I couldn't come to understand why He wouldn't bless us with a baby, why He was doing what He was doing. Each negative test I saw and each month that went on without being pregnant my faith got less and less. When I finally became pregnant I started letting Him back into my life, but was cautious. Still so numb and angry for what I had to go through, still not understanding why we had to work so hard for what others could have so easily. Since the news of my hemorrhage increasing and the chance of losing our miracle, God came back into my life full force. I apologized to Him and told Him I how much I needed Him in my life. I have a stronger relationship with Him now then I have ever had. I truly believe in Him, His miracles, His beliefs and I follow Him. I trust His plan for my life and have completely let Him have control over this little miracle He gave to us. I believe it was in His plan to give us a "scare" so that I would come back in to His life and come back into His trust. I truly believe everything happens for a reason, and this is a perfect example. There isn't a day that goes by now that I don't talk to Him, pray to Him and completley feel at peace with our relationship. I will forever be greatful for this.

I will update Monday after the ultrasound. PLEASE keep praying....it is working....we still have a healthy happy peanut! Thank you!

Love, Kristen

Follow up

I had a "follow-up" appointment today in clinic. Dr. B is on vacation so I saw another doctor who is just as amazing. She started the appointment off with a quick ultrasound of the baby. He/she had a strong heart beat and was moving around, all reassuring things.

We then discussed the hemorrhage. Yes, it is still there and has most definetly gotten bigger since May 24th. How much bigger is hard to tell but much bigger then before. A great deal of the rest of the placenta is still very much attached and hopefully giving adequate nourishment to baby. The fact that it has grown is worrisome. Does it mean I am going to lose the baby?? No one knows, but someone with a "perfect" pregnancy could lose their baby and no one would ever be able to predict that either. It does make me more at risk, but Dr. H said she wouldn't change anything about what I am doing at this point. The hemorrhage may be absorbed by my body or may bleed out. Lets hope and pray it does one of the other and doesn't continue to grow more.

This is where we stand. Right now we have a healthy little peanut growing and moving. I need to concentrate on that fact. In my heart I know God wants me to have this baby. Please continue to pray, I know prayer works and we need it more then ever. Thank you!

Love, Kristen

Hemorrhage Increases

I have never been so sad and scared in my life.....

This morning while working, I started spotting....then bleeding....then clots were coming. I immediately clocked out at work and was seen in triage. We heard baby's heart beat on the Doppler, 160s....I stopped shaking with fear. Dr. M did a quick bedside ultrasound, baby was moving around and even waved to us :-) Since I have the history of the hemorrhage I was sent to do a formal ultrasound to make sure it wasn't growing.

We waited....and waited....the results came. The hemorrhage has grown....large. It is now almost all the way around the placenta. Instead of being considered small, it is considered large. More dangerous for the pregnancy. No one could say anything to make the numbness of the situation better. I didn't cry until I got in my car, and since the tears haven't stopped. There is nothing we can do. Its comparable to a placental abruption. I could still go on to have a normal pregnancy, we just have to wait. Wait to lose the baby or wait and wait for what we hope to be an okay pregnancy. The baby is fine. Perfect in fact. No anomalies were seen, he/she was moving around, good heart beat. I feel horrible. I feel like my body is failing, once again, and not giving this baby the perfect "home" he/she needs. There is nothing we can do, nothing anyone can do. This is in god's hands.

My neighbor said to me tonight, "One shouldn't have to go through so much". While going through infertility there were times I didn't think it was fair, but knew it was the path god wanted me to be on. Now this...to give us such a gift and miracle and then take it away...that is just cruel. I know I have asked for prayer before, but please I am asking once again. We need it more then ever now. Thank you.

Love, Kristen

11 Weeks

How far Along: 11 Weeks

Size of Baby: He/she is the size of a lime!

Picture of Baby: Have them but don't know how to upload them!

11 Weeks: Baby Wolfe is slightly more than two inches long now and weighing about a third of an ounce, he/she is growing leaps and bounds! And so is his or her head, which is equal in length to the rest of the body (don't worry — all fetuses are top-heavy). On the crown of that large head (and over the rest of the body), hair follicles are forming. Fingernail and toenail beds begin to develop this week and by next week, the nails themselves will start to grow.
Baby's body is straightening and his or her torso is lengthening, like a yoga pose! Other poses he/she can assume now: stretches, somersaults, and forward rolls. And while you can't tell the baby's gender by its cover yet, testes are developing if it's a boy and ovaries if it's a girl.

Maternity Clothes: Not needed and don't own any yet....however my jeans are getting hard to button....

Weight Gain: 2 lbs....I hadn't put much thought into gaining weight, but I think this is going to be a hard part of pregnancy for me. Please don't judge. I have struggled with my weight my whole life and recently lost 35 lbs. I am the smallest I have ever been....it will be hard to put those pounds back on. Dr. B says I can gain 25-30 lbs....we shall see.

Belly Picture: Haven't taken one yet...maybe when I start showing :-)

Best Moment of the Week: Getting to watch Baby on ultrasound for a half an hour for the First Trimester Screen! I can't believe how much he/she has grown!

Movement: Baby Wolfe is moving constantly!! So cute on the ultrasound, but I won't be able to feel it for awhile.

Symptoms: >Previous Post< My symptoms for the most part have magically disappeared. Making me extremely nervous. I still get nauseated here and there but haven't needed Zofran in over a week! Constipation is solved, thanks to Raisin Bran!

Gender: Not sure why but still thinking Boy!

What I Miss: Riding the Harley....its going to be a long summer!

What I am looking forward to: 12 weeks, Second Trimester!

Weekly Wisdom: If your pregnancy isn't "text book" don't worry!! Every one's experiences are so different from one another. You don't' have to be awful and sick your whole pregnancy :-)

Milestones: Making it to 11 weeks is a milestone in itself!

Yesterday I had my First Trimester Screen Ultrasound and blood work. The baby has to be in the "perfect" position for the screen so I got to watch our little peanut for over a half an hour waiting for him/her to get into that "perfect" position! I can't believe how much he/she has changed! The cutest part is he/she kept wanting to have its hand up by its head, making it hard for the ultrasound tech to do her measurements! I loved seeing the hands and all the movement he/she was doing! The OB Dr. came in and said that from what they see on the ultrasound everything looks good. The ultrasound part of the screen came back negative....now waiting for the blood work portion, which comes back in 3 days. They are testing for Down Syndrome and Trisomy 18. The test/screen is optional. My husband and I wouldn't do anything different with the pregnancy if the test came back positive, but we don't want any 'surprises' and I wanted the extra ultrasound and chance to see our little peanut ;-)

Love, Kristen

NERVOUS NELLY

10 1/2 weeks and not really feeling many symptoms anymore....I am getting a little nervous. No nausea, not very tired anymore, hungry all the time....VERY nervous here!!! Has this happened to anyone else??!!

We have our first trimester screen tomorrow; ultrasound and blood work. Hoping our little peanut is still doing well in there....What can I say I am NERVOUS about everything!!!!!!! And I need to stop reading blogs about miscarriages and loses of babies because that is NOT helping my situation. Pray for some relaxation for me, good test results and a healthy happy peanut tomorrow!!

Love, Kristen

10 Weeks

How far Along: 10 Weeks

Size of Baby: Roughly 1-1/2 inches. (The size of a prune).

Picture of Baby: Have them but don't know how to upload them!

10 Weeks: Baby Wolfe's bones and cartilage are forming, and small indentations on the legs are developing into knees and ankles. The arms (complete with elbows) can flex already. Though his/her arms are taking shape and getting stronger, each one is only about the size of this number 1.
The tooth bud fairy is making her appearance this week, heralding the arrival of your baby Wolfe's little choppers, which are forming under the gums. (Those pearly whites won't break through the gums until he/she is close to six months old). Other systems are go, too. Baby Wolfe's stomach is producing digestive juices, the kidneys are producing larger quantities of urine, and, if baby Wolfe is a boy, he's already producing testosterone. (Information taken from What to Expect's website).

Maternity Clothes: Not needed and don't own any yet!

Weight Gain: Nope, not yet!

Belly Picture: Haven't taken one yet...maybe when I start showing :-)

Best Moment of the Week: Going to my first OB appointment and of course getting to see baby on ultrasound again!

Movement: Baby Wolfe is moving, but I won't be feeling it for awhile!

Symptoms: Still feeling nauseated but Zofran has been a miracle worker! Certain food smells have been bugging me. Poor Eli I am not such a good cook lately, I just can't stand food cooking smell! Constipation has kicked in and it sure is uncomfortable. Thinking about taking some Metamucil but trying to add more fiber to my diet first. I haven't had so much cramping but I have had a stretching and aching feeling where my ovaries are, maybe some round ligament pain?! The fatigue is much better, but still requiring lots more sleep then normal.

Gender: Not sure why but I have been thinking Boy!

What I Miss: Riding the Harley...and my diet coke! However, really nothing in comparison to being pregnant.

What I am looking forward to: Ultrasound next week. Can't wait to see our peanut again! I am also looking forward to second trimester, 2 weeks away!!

Weekly Wisdom: Listen to your body...eat if hungry and rest if needed! Take Zofran EVERY WHERE!! Its a miracle medication!

Milestones: Making it to 10 weeks!! 1/3 of the way done!!

Next week is another ultrasound...our first trimester screen. Can't wait to see our peanut again!! Thanks for all your prayers and support, keep them coming!! We are far from being "Out of the Woods".

Love, Kristen

First OB Appointment

No weekly post this week, sorry. I am trying to relax and just get through week by week. In 2 days I will be 10 weeks!! Getting closer and closer to that 12 week mark, second trimester. I had my first OB appointment last Thursday. Everything went well. I am seeing an OB that I have seen before and one that I work with so I already knew how great he would be! To ease my mind he did an "unofficial" ultrasound and I got to see that perfect little heart beat and baby was moving/jumping! It was soooo good to see. Dr. B said he didn't see any sign of a hemorrhage using the abdominal ultrasound. So, he said it may still be there but its a good sign that he can't identify it on the "outside" its that small. I haven't had any spotting since last Wednesday. Every time I visit the bathroom I thank god! I have another appointment next week with Dr. B just to follow up on the bleeding. I also have my first trimester screen ultrasound and blood work next week as well. Can't wait to see our peanut again!! I will do a weekly post this week, promise!! Please keep praying. I am having such a good feeling that things are going to be okay :-)

Love, Kristen

Lord hear my prayers

I am still spotting. Pink/red spotting with cramping. Not reassuring every time I go to the bathroom. I thought maybe it was from the ultrasound Friday, but the fact its still here today makes me wonder. I hope god is hearing my prayers.....to keep this baby safe and growing and make that darn hemorrhage go away....

8 Weeks

How far Along: 8 weeks (and 3 days)

Size of Baby: On average 0.63 inches and 0.04 oz. (The size of a big raspberry). My uterus, however, is the size of a grapefruit!

Picture of Baby: I have many, but don't have a scanner so I don't know how to post them!

8 Weeks: Baby Wolfe is growing at an amazing rate — about a millimeter every day — and now is the size of a large raspberry. He/she is looking a lot less reptilian (even though he/she has webbed fingers and toes, his/her tail is just about gone) and a lot more baby-like these days, as are his/her lips, nose, eyelids, legs, and back continue to take shape. His/her heart is beating at the incredible rate of 150 times per minute — about twice as fast as mine! And even though I can't yet feel it, he/she is now making spontaneous movements as he/she twitches her tiny trunk and limb buds. (Information taken from What to Expect's website).

Maternity Clothes: Nope...but my jeans are getting a little tight!

Weight Gain: Nope!

Belly: I can't tell but I think there is a little bit of a change!

Best Moment of the Week: Seeing baby Wolfe twice and getting an Anniversary card from Eli saying how he can't wait to have our baby! Its such a good feeling when he shows excitement about the baby!

Movement: I can't feel it yet, but baby is starting to move around this week! Can't wait to feel it!

Symptoms: Still feeling some nausea but have only vomited once so far! Lots of indigestion, nothing seems to settle very well. Cramping and stretching pains along with some back pain. The cramping scares me a little but I know its just the uterus growing for the baby!

Gender: No idea....but the last couple of days I have thought boy!

What I miss: Nothing compared to being pregnant....but I do miss riding on the Harley already and summer hasn't even started!

What I am looking forward to: My first OB appointment with Dr. B this Thursday!

Weekly Wisdom: Bleeding during the pregnancy is so scary but so common.

Milestones: Making it to 8 weeks and "surviving" a subchorionic hemorrhage.

Yesterday I had a follow-up ultrasound. The hemorrhage is still there but isn't measuring any bigger. Its about 1.2x.5 cm, which I have been told is very small. It also isn't near the baby or placenta. I haven't had any more heavy bleeding but some spotting, especially since the ultrasound. Baby looked good, heart rate 174 and measuring right on track :-) I couldn't believe how big baby has gotten! Yesterday you could see little arm and leg buds on the ultrasound and the umbilical cord. It was very surreal. Everything is very reassuring....I just need to relax about it all. Easier said then done!

Love, Kristen

Still here...

Not much change today. I am still having some red/pink bleeding that slows to spotting at times. I am also having some cramping, more then I have been. I followed up with both clinics today, Dr. M's and Dr. B's (my new OB). Both just want me to update them if there are significant changes. I have my first prenatal appointment with Dr. B next Thursday. I won't be seen until then unless there are changes. I was surprised an ultrasound wasn't scheduled for this week, but no one really seems that concerned. I on the other hand am still very nervous. I don't know how many times I have prayed in the last 24 hours. I hope HE is hearing my prayers. Please continue to pray for us and the baby....this just has to be okay, it can't end. Thanks so much!

Love, Kristen

Bleeding; Every pregnant women's worst Nightmare

I woke up this morning around 6:00AM to find blood, yes BRIGHT RED period like blood. I FREAKED OUT.I SCREAMED.I CRIED "NO". I immediately woke up Eli and then called Dr. M, luckily he was the Dr. on call. He reassured me that bleeding in pregnancy is normal and there isn't anything to do about it. He said that statistically 50% of women have some bleeding in the first trimester and for some reason more common in IVF patients. He told me to rest for the day and call tomorrow with an update. If I started passing tissue or clots I was instructed to go to the hospital. So I went back to bed and some how feel asleep.

At 9:00AM I woke up again. More bleeding. I knew I wouldn't be able to sit home all day with bleeding. I needed to know. So, we went to the ER. I was terrified. I thought for sure I was miscarrying. As we were going to ultrasound my body uncontrollably shook with fear. It seemed like forever. Then we saw it. One perfect little heart beat, beating at 154 bpm! I cried and Eli cried. He/She was also measuring perfect, still growing well. The embryo was fine so why was I bleeding??

Apparently on the ultrasound a small blood filled sac was found and I was told I have a subchorionic hemorrhage. A subchorionic hemorrhage is gathering of blood between the membranes of the placenta and the uterus. There is no known cause for a SCH but many researchers speculate that during egg implantation, the egg slightly separates or tears from the uterus causing a bleed. The current statistics for pregnancy loss with a SCH is 1-3%. This low percentage is related to large clots. Most pregnancies progress with no further complications. Most clots resolve on their own by 20 weeks of pregnancy. The clot either bleeds itself out or the body absorbs it. My clot was diagnosed as small. The ER Dr. said he can't obviously tell me whats going to happen but statistics are on my side. He said one in ten diagnosed with a SCH miscarry. Nine in ten go on to have a healthy pregnancy. What a scary morning/day.

I have continued to have some bleeding throughout the day but tonight is has slowed to almost spotting. PLEASE PRAY for us and the baby. We need all the prayers we can get. I will call Dr. M's office tomorrow and schedule an ultrasound for this week. PLEASE PRAY!! Thank you!!

Love, Kristen

7 Weeks

How far along: 7 weeks

Size of Baby: About half an inch (The size of a blueberry)

Picture of Baby: I finally have one....but need to figure out how to share it with you on here!!

7 weeks: Baby Wolfe is now about the size of a blueberry (and about 10,000 times bigger than he/she was at conception). Most of that growth is concentrated in the head as new brain cells are generated at the rate of 100 per minute. Your baby's mouth and tongue are forming as arm and leg buds sprout, and those little kidneys are getting ready to do their job (pee production and excretion). (Information taken from What to Expect's Website)

Maternity Clothes: Nope! Good thing because I don't even own one pair!

Weight gain: None

Belly: Nope!

Best Moment of the Week: Seeing the baby's heart beat! It was amazing and I am already so in love!

Movement: No, and it won't be for awhile unfortunately :-(

Symptoms: Still feeling VERY tired. Working nights is getting harder. I am tired all the time! I usually can't go a full day without a nap. Nausea is still in full force, but no vomiting yet. The nausea seems to come and go at different times of the day. Still taking Zofran when I absolutely need it. I had to ditch my cart and leave the grocery store the other day, I just couldn't handle even looking at food! I have also noticed some indigestion and a little more heartburn. I am still having some cramping as well.

What I am looking forward to: My first OB/pregnancy appointment on May 12th!

Weekly Wisdom: Take that Zofran EVERYWHERE you go!

Milestones: Making it to 7 weeks and seeing that perfect little heart beat!

We had our Ultrasound on Wednesday and saw one baby and one perfect little heart beat. Baby Wolfe's heart rate was 129, Dr. M said it was PERFECT! Baby Wolfe also implanted in a perfect spot in my uterus, right in the middle where he/she was supposed to! Seeing him/her for the first time was amazing. I am already so in love with this little baby and so is Eli! We also got some other good news, I have been graduated from Dr. M's office!! Dr. M said I am able to get the rest of my pregnancy care at a regular OB office. It was bittersweet. I am sure going to miss Dr. M and all those nurses, I made sure I gave lots of hugs! I will be returning though, but for a visit only and holding my miracle they all helped me get :-) My first OB appointment is May 12th and I can't hardly wait!! I am still taking IM progesterone and still wearing Vivelle (estrogen) patches until most likely week 12. This has been one great week!!

Love, Kristen

6 Weeks

How far along: 6 weeks

Size of baby: Average length is 5mm to 6mm, or 1/6th to 1/4th of an inch.

Picture of Baby: Don't have one yet

6 Weeks: Baby Wolfe's jaw, cheeks, chin, eyes, ears, and nose are beginning to form what will eventually become one adorable face. In addition, his/her kidneys, liver, and lungs are developing, and his/her heart is now beating 80 times a minute (and getting faster every day). (Information taken from What to Expect's website).

Maternity Clothes: Not yet and hopefully not for awhile :-)

Weight Gain: None. However, my evening/night nausea is really getting to me, so I wouldn't be surprised if I lose some weight.

Belly: Nothing yet, but can't wait for it to show!

Best Moment of the Week: When my nephew pulled up my shirt to "see the baby" and when my other nephew kissed my belly or "the baby".

Movement: No, but can't wait until that moment!

Symptoms: I was having some pretty bad cramping, but that has seemed to die down. My boobs hurt but are still the same size. In the last couple of days I have noticed some pretty strong nausea in the late afternoon/evening time. The nausea seems to be worse if I don't eat, but depending on what I eat it sometimes gets worse. Its a no win situation! I do have a prescription for Zofran and have had to take one on Sunday when it was unbearable. I took it when I wasn't even able to watch food commercials on TV, it was that bad!

Gender: No idea!

What I miss: I don't' miss anything to being pregnant. BUT I do miss my Diet Coke :-)

What I am looking forward to: 7 week ultrasound on Thursday April 28th. Can't wait to see the heart beat!

Weekly Wisdom: Eat through the nausea otherwise it just gets worse!

Milestones: Making it to 6 weeks!


Love, Kristen

Second Hcg Level

I'm still here and still pregnant!! On Friday I had my blood drawn and my hcg level more then doubled, it was 158! It went up 120%! I felt like it was still low, but the nurse reassured me it was perfect! Its still so hard to get too excited about everything, but each appointment and good news makes it better! Our next appointment is an ultrasound in 2 weeks. In the mean time I might pee on more sticks, just to make sure ;-) I told my mom today that I wish there was a machine or something that updated you each day about your pregnancy. It would say something like, "Your still pregnant and baby is growing perfect". Just for a little reassurance for us that are a little more nervous then others :-) Thanks for all of your sweet messages and pone calls! They help to give us a little more excitement during these early stages!! Please keep praying!! Love, Kristen & Eli

I have waited so long for this!!!

I have waited 2 years, 11 months and 6 days to say this....

I'm Pregnant!!

I'm Pregnant!!

I'm Pregnant!!

I'm Pregnant!!

I'm Pregnant!!

My beta level today was 71. I was worried that was low, but the Nurse Practitioner said it was a good solid number and not to worry. My progesterone level was also drawn and came back at 27. Good enough to sustain a pregnancy!

Eli and I are beyond excited and so happy. I still can't believe it. Today I am 4 weeks. Still VERY early, so please continue to pray. I go back to clinic on Friday for another blood draw. My beta level should be doubled by then. PRAY it is! Thank you all so much for supporting us on this long tough journey and keep praying. Its working!! Thank you!

Love, Kristen & Eli

3dp5dt

Today is 3 days past a 5 day transfer. I am feeling well.......sometimes I think too well. Not feeling pregnant AT ALL. Having my doubts....one minute I think "How can this not work?", next minute "Why would it work?". I bought some pregnancy tests today. Haven't thought about when or IF I am going to pee on them. I am scared. Scared this didn't work....scared it will never work. I am keeping a positive attitude though, but also guarding my heart. I am ready to be done with these IM progesterone shots...Eli has been doing a good job giving them, but my butt hurts!!! Tomorrow I start Vivelle patches. Patches that contain progesterone to keep the uterine lining PERFECT! Actually, the worst part is the side effect of the progesterone shot, constipation. Worst.Feeling.Ever. Maybe its god's way of preparing for pregnancy?? Doesn't hurt to think positive out of something negative! Keep the prayers coming...love you all!! Love, Kristen & Eli

Transfer Part 2

Monday we got to the clinic and met my mom there. She was there for support and I couldn't have imagined her not being there for something so important. Eli got to come back to the procedure room with me, mom didn't. I was feeling pretty nervous but when the Valium took effect I felt a little more relaxed. Eli and I both had our minds made up that we would put two embryos in. When Dr. M came in he had me lay down looked at my ovaries and felt my abdomen. He said my left ovary was still very large and I had some fluid in my abdomen, all signs of OHSS. Then he gave his recommendation of only putting one embryo in. I was devastated.....when you have your mind set and someone tells you otherwise it makes it that much harder. He said he strongly recommends one at this point for these reasons; 1. History of OHSS 2. Size of my ovaries and the fluid in my abdomen 3. The risk to the pregnancy if I develop OHSS He also said he doesn't just want a positive pregnancy test, he wants a healthy baby and a healthy mom. He basically told me he was only willing to put one in for my safety and health. OHSS develops and gets worse with pregnancy. We very much trust his decision and his 32 years of experience. So, we transferred one PERFECT little embryo!!! It was amazing to watch the embryo being transferred to my uterus on the ultrasound. After the transfer I had to lay there for 10 minutes and then they let me empty my bladder and then had me lay down flat for about 40 more minutes. Eli left to go to work and my mom brought me home. I am on "bedrest" until at least tomorrow afternoon. Only able to get up to go to the bathroom, wash face, brush teeth etc. No showering!! Can't wait to take a shower tomorrow, that has been the hardest part for me! Thank you for every one's support. All of you make this hard journey a little more easier. Thank you so very very much! We love you all!! Please continue to pray that this little embryo is sticking, I am ready to have a positive pregnancy test. I now believe I deserve this, we have been through so much. April 6th is my pregnancy test and we will find out what we already know, I'm pregnant :-) Lots of love, Kristen & Eli

Transfer Part 1

The transfer went PERFECT today!!! We decided to transfer one perfect embryo instead of two as a strong recommendation from Dr. M for multiple reasons. I am just resting now. Will update more later or tomorrow. Keep praying that the one little embryo sticks and grows! Love, Kristen & Eli

Still growing!!

The embryologist called this morning and we have a transfer time....11:30AM tomorrow!! Words can't describe how excited I am! She said all but one of the embryos were growing at a perfect rate and were right on track! So, we still have 17!!! Is it crazy to be attached to 17 clusters of cells???!!! Call me crazy but I felt a sigh of relief that my embryos were safe and growing and I felt bad for the little one who probably won't make it. If I sound crazy I blame it on all of the hormones I am on ;-) Ha! We have to arrive at the clinic at 11:00AM. Starting at 10:30AM I need to start drinking water so I have a full bladder for the transfer. I also have to take Valium at that time. Please think of us and PRAY at 11:30AM that things go smoothly and that those little embryos stick! I PROMISE I will take such good care of them....all they have to do is stick! Tomorrow when I update, I will be pregnant....that makes me sooooo happy and excited! Finally! Lots of love, Kristen & Eli

We Have Fertilization!!

I got the call from the embryologist!!! We have 18 little embryos growing!!!!!!!!!!
The embryologist said that of the 27, 26 eggs were mature, 21 fertilized and 18 have started cell division! I am over the moon happy right now....She will call again Sunday for another update and let me know when the transfer will be on Monday. I have a good feeling about this!

*On a side note, I ended up going to the ER last night for hydration. I kept vomiting and was SO dizzy and nauseated. I didn't take that medication today and feel a lot better. I did have one episode of vomiting today, but was able to eat right after. The ER Dr. gave me a prescription for Zofran, an ant-nausea medication which has been helping. I am having a little pain with movement but feel pretty good!!
I will update Sunday after the "babysitter"/embryologist calls :-)

Love, Kristen

Retrieval Update

I want to thank everyone for the sweet messages, texts, calls etc. I have been able to answer some but not others. I haven't been feeling that well and have been on the verge of going to the ER multiple times.

The retrieval went VERY well yesterday. Dr. M wasn't there, but one of his partners Dr. K did the retrieval and he was great. Dr. K and my husband talked about Harley Davidson's for 15 minutes! He made Eli feel better about being there and I thank him for that. Dr. K said he suspected to get anywhere between 10 and 30 eggs. When it was time for me to go back to the OR Eli gave me a kiss and I walked into the room. The anesthesiologist and nurse were very nice and reassuring. They started an IV and I was given Fentanyl and something else to relax. Before I knew it I was sleeping and then waking up in recovery. I think I asked 8 times how many eggs they got....and heard the anesthesiologist tell Eli I will probably keep asking since I am awake but nothing is really registering! Ha!! BUT guess how many they got?!?!

I was in SHOCK!!! 27 is an awesome number!! I know they won't all be mature but that is a good number to start with. Tomorrow sometime the embryologist will call and tell us how many have fertilized. They will then call again Sunday and let us know what time the transfer will be on Monday. I can't wait!!! Please keep praying that our embryos are strong and healthy!!

Now on to why I am not feeling well. Dr. M prescribed a medication for me to take called Cabergoline. The goal of the medication is to prevent and/or minimize Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome and is to be taken for 8 days once a day. I took the first one yesterday and had horrible side effects from it. I was very dizzy, lightheaded, nauseated, vomiting and just felt like crap. Eli called Dr. M last night and he gave me some suggestions on what to do and if I didn't get better I needed to go to the ER. It all eventually passed and I felt better this morning. Dr. M called today and wanted me to give the medication another shot. Bad decision, I got even sicker and once again almost went to the ER. I am finally feeling a little better, but having some pain and still dizzy. Dr. M does not want me to take that medication again and neither do I! Hopefully tomorrow I will feel a lot better and will update after the embryologist calls. Keep saying prayers, they are working!!

Lots of love, Kristen & Eli

Retrieval

I had my last follicle study today for this cycle!!!! My retrieval is scheduled for Wednesday!!! I am over the moon happy. We made it! I am to give myself the HCG shot tonight at 10:30pm exactly. Nothing to eat or drink after midnight on Tuesday and be to the clinic Wednesday morning at 9:30am. I have 11-15 follicles mature and many more potential by Wednesday. I am still in shock, this is actually happening.....I am a little nervous because I will be asleep for the procedure. Please keep praying.....pray for healthy eggs, good fertilization and healthy strong embryos! I will update Wednesday after retrieval.

Love, Kristen & Eli

So far so good! Everything is going well with this cycle. Wednesday was my first ultrasound, there were many follicles, but still small. My estradiol level was 543. Dr. M decreased my medication Wednesday night because of the big increase in my level within the 2 days. Friday I had another ultrasound. Follicles growing at expected rate, but still smaller and not ready. Estradiol level went up despite the decrease in medication, it was around 800. To make sure it keeps rising Dr. M had me go in today just for a blood draw and it was 1137. SO happy it keeps rising!!! Last cycle it fell when we decreased my medication. However, I now do believe the Cetratide is what ruined my cycle last time. I have another ultrasound and blood draw tomorrow at 7:10 am!!! Hopefully my follicles are growing at a good pace and are getting ready to be mature! Please keep praying for us. I have a good feeling about this cycle! Even making it to retrieval is huge progress!

Love, Kristen & Eli

Stim Day 3

The nurse called this afternoon and said my estradiol level was 127. She said to keep all medications at their same dose and come back Wednesday.......
Then Dr. M called from his cell phone and said he wanted to cut my Follistim back......I hesitated.
This is what caused me cycle to be cancelled last time. He understood why I would be worried about it and finally made the decision to just leave my dose the same and see what Wednesday brings. He did say my level was nice and strong, but that at some point he would probably have to back down......I HATED hearing that. Really?? I DO NOT want another repeat of last cycle. Please lord let me make it to retrieval...........Please!

Love, Kristen & Eli

Lupron Protocol

We are back from vacation and on to Cycle #2!! Mexico was a blast and all the relaxing we did was much needed. I started my Lupron injections while in Mexico, 20 units a day. Which by the way, bringing needles on the plane was no big deal, they didn't question me once! Monday I had my baseline ultrasound and Estradiol level checked. Everything looked great on the ultrasound, but my Estradiol level was raised at 46. At this time in my cycle they would expect it to be 0 or less then 12, which it has been in the past. So, instead of decreasing Lupron to 5 units I stayed at 20 units and had my Estradiol level re-checked today. It only decreased to 40, but no one seemed worried because I was given the okay to start stim meds tomorrow!!! I will be taking 5 units of Lupron and 75 of Menopur in the morning and 100 of Follistim in the evening. My next appointment is Monday for an Estradiol only and my first ultrasound is Thursday. Please keep us in your prayers these next couple of weeks. Pray my ovaries cooperate, pray we have a successful retrieval and transfer and most of all pray for a miracle! Thank you!! I will update on Monday when I know my Estradiol level.

Love, Kristen & Eli

IVF Cycle #2

Finally, an update!! This is a MUCH needed, and asked for, update. Sorry!! I have tried to take my mind off infertility for the last month and just relax. Its been a nice break!

Things are in the works for IVF cycle #2. We had our Nurse Consultation appointment last week and we signed consents and reviewed "the plan" for the next cycle. Dr. M has changed my protocol and we are taking the Lupron path instead of the antagonist path this time around. Lupron is used as a suppression drug. It suppresses the pituitary gland, the gland that is responsible for triggering ovulation. Dr. M's hope is that this will help during the stimulation phase and is used instead of the Cetratide, which is one of the things to blame the cancellation of my last cycle. I will start Lupron injections this week and my last birth control will be Wednesday March 2. My baseline ultrasound is March 8 and my first stimulation medication will be taken March 12. The stimulation medications are staying the same; Menopur and Follistim. We are hoping and praying this cycle doesn't get cancelled.

We are taking one "last vacation" before starting and going to Mexico!! We are very excited and will be going with my brother and his wonderful girlfriend! I will be starting my Lupron while I am in Mexico so I do have to bring a note/permission from the Doctor to carry the medication and syringes on the plane. Hope that goes smoothly!

I promise to update more throughout this next month. Hoping to be updating good news this time around, start to finish! Please keep praying for us! Thank you all so much!

Much love, Kristen & Eli

What Happened??

What Happened??

I had another ultrasound and blood work done yesterday morning. The nurse at the appointment said everything looked good and that the lead follicles were still growing. She instructed me to increase my medication and would call later if there was any change. There was change and later that afternoon Dr. M called. His first words made me drop to the floor and start sobbing, "We have some trouble kiddo"......."We have to cancel this cycle, I'm sorry". I lost it. I felt bad that I was crying on the phone, but I'm sure he hears it all the time. He was very patient with me, answered all my questions, gave great explanations and was very sympathetic. My Estradiol level kept decreasing. Monday it was 687...Tuesday 552...Wed 283. It started falling after we decreased my Follistim dose and kept falling despite the fact that it was increased and another medication was added. Of the 13 that we had in the beginning, only 2 made it to the mature stage. Not enough for an IVF cycle. My heart was broken. We were devastated. This counted as one of our "tries". Dr. M admitted that we went to slow and were too cautious with me. They were so worried about hyperstimulation they weren't aggressive enough. The medication mix we used wasn't right. The decision to decrease wasn't right. I didn't know what to think. If Dr. M wasn't on vacation would he have made the decision to decrease.No.But he trusts his colleague's decision. My next words "When can we start again?". Dr. M gave me the option of just ending this cycle or turning it into an insemination cycle to have a chance at pregnancy. I had the 2 mature follicles and could trigger, ovulate and do an insemination. We decided to go for it. However, since we have already invested so much money we decided to trigger, ovulate and do timed intercourse instead of insemination. It would have been another $300.00 out of pocket for the insemination. So, we will have a 2 week wait. If by some miracle we get pregnant we just saved A LOT of money. If we don't, I will start birth control again when I get a period. Dr. M wants me to be on birth control for 3-4 weeks before the next cycle. He will also be gone again in February on vacation. I WILL NOT do this again without him there. He knows my body too well and I want him to be in full control of the whole cycle. He will be back in clinic at the end of February, we will start then.

I.can't.believe.this.has.happened. Still a little numb to the fact that we are done and never made it to retrieval. Hopefully this pain is short lived and we can move on. Please continue to pray for our strength and hope that we find peace to this ending. Please pray for a miracle.



Love, Kristen & Eli

Cancelled

I just got the call from Dr. M.....my cycle is being cancelled. I am extremely sad and disappointed. I knew the good news wouldn't last long, its just my luck. This is harder then getting a negative pregnancy test.

Love, Kristen & Eli

Stim Day #10

Today is Stimulation Day 10. I had an ultrasound and blood work yesterday and today. Not much has changed. The follicles are growing SLOW and my Estradiol level has fallen as a result of the decrease in medication Dr. M prescribed. Dr. M and the nurses all believe things are still going really well and I am "right on track". The nurse called this afternoon and told me Dr. M wants me to increase my Follistim back up tonight and he also wants me to take 75u of Menopur. I am getting nervous about the falling Estradiol level, hoping it rises with the increase in medication without hyperstimulating. In a past IUI cycle I had a falling Estradiol level and it never came back up, that cycle was cancelled. PLEASE say an extra prayer tonight, we don't want to cancel this cycle, we would be devastated. I will update tomorrow after my appointment.

Love, Kristen & Eli

IVF Stim Day #8

Today was Stim Day #8. I had another ultrasound and blood draw this morning at the Minneapolis clinic. I had the same number of follicles and they have gotten bigger and the smaller follicles are still there but have stayed small!!! I haven't been getting the results of my blood draws the last two appointments because of the holiday and the weekend. Tomorrow I should be able to find them out. The nurse said today that my body is responding like they expect it to respond, PERFECT!!! Things couldn't be going any better. Please keep praying its working!!! Thanks again for all your sweet messages, calls and words of encouragement I need them!!! I have another ultrasound and blood draw tomorrow. I think we are getting close to retrieval. Getting excited but nervous ;-/

Love, Kristen & Eli