I had another ultrasound and blood work done yesterday morning. The nurse at the appointment said everything looked good and that the lead follicles were still growing. She instructed me to increase my medication and would call later if there was any change. There was change and later that afternoon Dr. M called. His first words made me drop to the floor and start sobbing, "We have some trouble kiddo"......."We have to cancel this cycle, I'm sorry". I lost it. I felt bad that I was crying on the phone, but I'm sure he hears it all the time. He was very patient with me, answered all my questions, gave great explanations and was very sympathetic. My Estradiol level kept decreasing. Monday it was 687...Tuesday 552...Wed 283. It started falling after we decreased my Follistim dose and kept falling despite the fact that it was increased and another medication was added. Of the 13 that we had in the beginning, only 2 made it to the mature stage. Not enough for an IVF cycle. My heart was broken. We were devastated. This counted as one of our "tries". Dr. M admitted that we went to slow and were too cautious with me. They were so worried about hyperstimulation they weren't aggressive enough. The medication mix we used wasn't right. The decision to decrease wasn't right. I didn't know what to think. If Dr. M wasn't on vacation would he have made the decision to decrease.No.But he trusts his colleague's decision. My next words "When can we start again?". Dr. M gave me the option of just ending this cycle or turning it into an insemination cycle to have a chance at pregnancy. I had the 2 mature follicles and could trigger, ovulate and do an insemination. We decided to go for it. However, since we have already invested so much money we decided to trigger, ovulate and do timed intercourse instead of insemination. It would have been another $300.00 out of pocket for the insemination. So, we will have a 2 week wait. If by some miracle we get pregnant we just saved A LOT of money. If we don't, I will start birth control again when I get a period. Dr. M wants me to be on birth control for 3-4 weeks before the next cycle. He will also be gone again in February on vacation. I WILL NOT do this again without him there. He knows my body too well and I want him to be in full control of the whole cycle. He will be back in clinic at the end of February, we will start then.
I.can't.believe.this.has.happened. Still a little numb to the fact that we are done and never made it to retrieval. Hopefully this pain is short lived and we can move on. Please continue to pray for our strength and hope that we find peace to this ending. Please pray for a miracle.
Love, Kristen & Eli