Rock Bottom

I have been so strong these last 4 months. Enjoying our break and relaxing, but lately I've hit rock bottom, again. I've cried, exaggerated everyday ailments into a maybe pregnancy symptom, criticized those with children in public under my breath, cried some more, felt bad for myself, gotten mad at my husband for no reason, and yes, cried even more. I don't know what brought all this on, but whatever did I hope it takes it away really soon. This sucks. Feeling this way sucks. I just want to be happy. I want to be the one who has a "I'm pregnant" facebook status, I want to be the one with the big belly, with the monthly ultrasound pictures, I want to be the one to know and find the love of a child, I want this more then anything. But I can't have any of it and it just doesn't' seem fair.
Please pray that this state of mind doesn't last long.

Love, Kristen

Failed Blogger!

I have decided I am a failed blogger. I just can't find the time to update! It seems like every time I sit and decide to write, I get pulled away doing other things! So, I am going to update a lot in this one!
Lets see where to start...

The last weekend in April we went Vegas!! I couldn't rant and rave about it before hand, because it was a surprise for my sister's 30th Birthday. She didn't know we were all going until she got to the airport and we were all waiting there. By all I mean, family and friends, I think there was 14 of us! It was such a great surprise and we had an awesome time! We stayed at the Hard Rock Hotel and partied with many celebrities including, Paris and Nikki Hilton and Lil' Jon! And while we were there I got my first TATTOO!!! It hurt like Hell, but I became addicted and already want another one!!

Waiting...SO SCARED!!

Tattoo Artist getting ready....

The Outline...marker only....

And he starts....Holding my husband's and brother's hands

Color

I don't have a picture of the finished product...I don't want to take one now because its healing and looks horrible. When it looks healed and stops peeling I will add a picture! I have to give credit to the tattoo artist who did it. He did such an amazing job, it looks like its air brushed on. People have even asked me if it real! I got the tattoo done in our hotel at Hart & Huntington. They are a more famous place, even have their own show!!

And some more good news came out of this Vegas trip. I was relaxing so much that my body decided to do some things on its own and I got a period!! Bad timing while on vacation, but who cares. I did nothing to bring it on, so hopefully it will continue. I was going to start taking my temps, BUT decided against it thanks from the advice from my good friend Amy! I am on a break and I will do NOTHING fertility related on my break. If you start doing things like that, then it just gives you a reminder everyday and you never get away from it. I don't need any reminders, I just need to relax and enjoy this time!

Last week, May 3rd, Eli and I had our 2 year Anniversary! I can't believe it has been two years already. It has gone by so fast! I love you Babe, thanks for everything you do. You are an amazing man and my very best friend. I love you with all of my heart! Hugs & Kisses and Happy Anniversary! I did work on our Anniversary, but came home to 2 dozen roses! I am so lucky!!

Well, that's most of what I wanted to update on! I am still going to try and be a better blogger, but for now I have failed!! Sorry!!

Love,

Kristen