Sunday, May 23, 2010

Rock Bottom

I have been so strong these last 4 months. Enjoying our break and relaxing, but lately I've hit rock bottom, again. I've cried, exaggerated everyday ailments into a maybe pregnancy symptom, criticized those with children in public under my breath, cried some more, felt bad for myself, gotten mad at my husband for no reason, and yes, cried even more. I don't know what brought all this on, but whatever did I hope it takes it away really soon. This sucks. Feeling this way sucks. I just want to be happy. I want to be the one who has a "I'm pregnant" facebook status, I want to be the one with the big belly, with the monthly ultrasound pictures, I want to be the one to know and find the love of a child, I want this more then anything. But I can't have any of it and it just doesn't' seem fair.
Please pray that this state of mind doesn't last long.

Love, Kristen


Anonymous said...

I am thinking about you and saying a prayer for you!! I won't say that I know how you feel...but there were a few years when I didn't think my body was going to be able to carry a baby. Somehow, miracles do happen and I believe your dreams will come true! Hang in there...I am right around the corner if you ever want to get out of the house and clear your head (with good food or coffee or wine...or something stronger).

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