Sunday, May 24, 2009

Writings from Mom

This is something another woman wrote. My mom gave it to me and when I read it, right away I connected with this woman, whoever she is. The feelings and emotions, she says them perfect in her writing.

"There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss, and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better in a sense. I will be better not because of genetics, or money, or that I have read more books, but because I have struggled and toiled for this child. I have longed and waited. I have cried and prayed. I have endured and planned over and over again. Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams. I will notice everything about my child. I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover. I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life. I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him/her and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me. I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see. Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love. I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain. I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body. I have succeeded. I have won. So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save my discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs. I listen. And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes. I have learned to appreciate life. YES, I will be a wonderful mother!" (Author Unknown)

YES, I know I will be a wonderful mother, someday :)
Love, Kristen


Melissa said...

Hey, I found your blog from the prayer request on Kellys Korner. I read a bit of your blog, are you doing IUI currently? My husband and I tried for 3 years to get pregnant, we ended up trying a round of IVF and it worked the first time. I am also in WI, we went to DR Katayama who is one of the best around in WI. I am praying for you - I know what you are going thru and how painful it is. Just know that God is in control and lean on him even when you don't understand why this is happening.

Jan said...

Hi!! I just read some of your blog and your story sounds just like mine. Me and my husband tried for over 5 yrs to conceive. We tried every clomid,I had the same test you had w/the dye, I had (5) IUI's, I did the shots for 3 months and finally when I just needed a break from the whirlwind of emotions I had (1) last IUI and it worked. I was 38 years old when I had my son. I just want to to remember to NEVER GIVE UP!!! God is with you and he and only he knows when the time is right. God Bless and I am praying for you and your family.

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