Hemorrhage Increases

I have never been so sad and scared in my life.....

This morning while working, I started spotting....then bleeding....then clots were coming. I immediately clocked out at work and was seen in triage. We heard baby's heart beat on the Doppler, 160s....I stopped shaking with fear. Dr. M did a quick bedside ultrasound, baby was moving around and even waved to us :-) Since I have the history of the hemorrhage I was sent to do a formal ultrasound to make sure it wasn't growing.

We waited....and waited....the results came. The hemorrhage has grown....large. It is now almost all the way around the placenta. Instead of being considered small, it is considered large. More dangerous for the pregnancy. No one could say anything to make the numbness of the situation better. I didn't cry until I got in my car, and since the tears haven't stopped. There is nothing we can do. Its comparable to a placental abruption. I could still go on to have a normal pregnancy, we just have to wait. Wait to lose the baby or wait and wait for what we hope to be an okay pregnancy. The baby is fine. Perfect in fact. No anomalies were seen, he/she was moving around, good heart beat. I feel horrible. I feel like my body is failing, once again, and not giving this baby the perfect "home" he/she needs. There is nothing we can do, nothing anyone can do. This is in god's hands.

My neighbor said to me tonight, "One shouldn't have to go through so much". While going through infertility there were times I didn't think it was fair, but knew it was the path god wanted me to be on. Now this...to give us such a gift and miracle and then take it away...that is just cruel. I know I have asked for prayer before, but please I am asking once again. We need it more then ever now. Thank you.

Love, Kristen

11 Weeks

How far Along: 11 Weeks

Size of Baby: He/she is the size of a lime!

Picture of Baby: Have them but don't know how to upload them!

11 Weeks: Baby Wolfe is slightly more than two inches long now and weighing about a third of an ounce, he/she is growing leaps and bounds! And so is his or her head, which is equal in length to the rest of the body (don't worry — all fetuses are top-heavy). On the crown of that large head (and over the rest of the body), hair follicles are forming. Fingernail and toenail beds begin to develop this week and by next week, the nails themselves will start to grow.
Baby's body is straightening and his or her torso is lengthening, like a yoga pose! Other poses he/she can assume now: stretches, somersaults, and forward rolls. And while you can't tell the baby's gender by its cover yet, testes are developing if it's a boy and ovaries if it's a girl.

Maternity Clothes: Not needed and don't own any yet....however my jeans are getting hard to button....

Weight Gain: 2 lbs....I hadn't put much thought into gaining weight, but I think this is going to be a hard part of pregnancy for me. Please don't judge. I have struggled with my weight my whole life and recently lost 35 lbs. I am the smallest I have ever been....it will be hard to put those pounds back on. Dr. B says I can gain 25-30 lbs....we shall see.

Belly Picture: Haven't taken one yet...maybe when I start showing :-)

Best Moment of the Week: Getting to watch Baby on ultrasound for a half an hour for the First Trimester Screen! I can't believe how much he/she has grown!

Movement: Baby Wolfe is moving constantly!! So cute on the ultrasound, but I won't be able to feel it for awhile.

Symptoms: >Previous Post< My symptoms for the most part have magically disappeared. Making me extremely nervous. I still get nauseated here and there but haven't needed Zofran in over a week! Constipation is solved, thanks to Raisin Bran!

Gender: Not sure why but still thinking Boy!

What I Miss: Riding the Harley....its going to be a long summer!

What I am looking forward to: 12 weeks, Second Trimester!

Weekly Wisdom: If your pregnancy isn't "text book" don't worry!! Every one's experiences are so different from one another. You don't' have to be awful and sick your whole pregnancy :-)

Milestones: Making it to 11 weeks is a milestone in itself!

Yesterday I had my First Trimester Screen Ultrasound and blood work. The baby has to be in the "perfect" position for the screen so I got to watch our little peanut for over a half an hour waiting for him/her to get into that "perfect" position! I can't believe how much he/she has changed! The cutest part is he/she kept wanting to have its hand up by its head, making it hard for the ultrasound tech to do her measurements! I loved seeing the hands and all the movement he/she was doing! The OB Dr. came in and said that from what they see on the ultrasound everything looks good. The ultrasound part of the screen came back negative....now waiting for the blood work portion, which comes back in 3 days. They are testing for Down Syndrome and Trisomy 18. The test/screen is optional. My husband and I wouldn't do anything different with the pregnancy if the test came back positive, but we don't want any 'surprises' and I wanted the extra ultrasound and chance to see our little peanut ;-)

Love, Kristen

NERVOUS NELLY

10 1/2 weeks and not really feeling many symptoms anymore....I am getting a little nervous. No nausea, not very tired anymore, hungry all the time....VERY nervous here!!! Has this happened to anyone else??!!

We have our first trimester screen tomorrow; ultrasound and blood work. Hoping our little peanut is still doing well in there....What can I say I am NERVOUS about everything!!!!!!! And I need to stop reading blogs about miscarriages and loses of babies because that is NOT helping my situation. Pray for some relaxation for me, good test results and a healthy happy peanut tomorrow!!

Love, Kristen

10 Weeks

How far Along: 10 Weeks

Size of Baby: Roughly 1-1/2 inches. (The size of a prune).

Picture of Baby: Have them but don't know how to upload them!

10 Weeks: Baby Wolfe's bones and cartilage are forming, and small indentations on the legs are developing into knees and ankles. The arms (complete with elbows) can flex already. Though his/her arms are taking shape and getting stronger, each one is only about the size of this number 1.
The tooth bud fairy is making her appearance this week, heralding the arrival of your baby Wolfe's little choppers, which are forming under the gums. (Those pearly whites won't break through the gums until he/she is close to six months old). Other systems are go, too. Baby Wolfe's stomach is producing digestive juices, the kidneys are producing larger quantities of urine, and, if baby Wolfe is a boy, he's already producing testosterone. (Information taken from What to Expect's website).

Maternity Clothes: Not needed and don't own any yet!

Weight Gain: Nope, not yet!

Belly Picture: Haven't taken one yet...maybe when I start showing :-)

Best Moment of the Week: Going to my first OB appointment and of course getting to see baby on ultrasound again!

Movement: Baby Wolfe is moving, but I won't be feeling it for awhile!

Symptoms: Still feeling nauseated but Zofran has been a miracle worker! Certain food smells have been bugging me. Poor Eli I am not such a good cook lately, I just can't stand food cooking smell! Constipation has kicked in and it sure is uncomfortable. Thinking about taking some Metamucil but trying to add more fiber to my diet first. I haven't had so much cramping but I have had a stretching and aching feeling where my ovaries are, maybe some round ligament pain?! The fatigue is much better, but still requiring lots more sleep then normal.

Gender: Not sure why but I have been thinking Boy!

What I Miss: Riding the Harley...and my diet coke! However, really nothing in comparison to being pregnant.

What I am looking forward to: Ultrasound next week. Can't wait to see our peanut again! I am also looking forward to second trimester, 2 weeks away!!

Weekly Wisdom: Listen to your body...eat if hungry and rest if needed! Take Zofran EVERY WHERE!! Its a miracle medication!

Milestones: Making it to 10 weeks!! 1/3 of the way done!!

Next week is another ultrasound...our first trimester screen. Can't wait to see our peanut again!! Thanks for all your prayers and support, keep them coming!! We are far from being "Out of the Woods".

Love, Kristen

First OB Appointment

No weekly post this week, sorry. I am trying to relax and just get through week by week. In 2 days I will be 10 weeks!! Getting closer and closer to that 12 week mark, second trimester. I had my first OB appointment last Thursday. Everything went well. I am seeing an OB that I have seen before and one that I work with so I already knew how great he would be! To ease my mind he did an "unofficial" ultrasound and I got to see that perfect little heart beat and baby was moving/jumping! It was soooo good to see. Dr. B said he didn't see any sign of a hemorrhage using the abdominal ultrasound. So, he said it may still be there but its a good sign that he can't identify it on the "outside" its that small. I haven't had any spotting since last Wednesday. Every time I visit the bathroom I thank god! I have another appointment next week with Dr. B just to follow up on the bleeding. I also have my first trimester screen ultrasound and blood work next week as well. Can't wait to see our peanut again!! I will do a weekly post this week, promise!! Please keep praying. I am having such a good feeling that things are going to be okay :-)

Love, Kristen

Lord hear my prayers

I am still spotting. Pink/red spotting with cramping. Not reassuring every time I go to the bathroom. I thought maybe it was from the ultrasound Friday, but the fact its still here today makes me wonder. I hope god is hearing my prayers.....to keep this baby safe and growing and make that darn hemorrhage go away....

8 Weeks

How far Along: 8 weeks (and 3 days)

Size of Baby: On average 0.63 inches and 0.04 oz. (The size of a big raspberry). My uterus, however, is the size of a grapefruit!

Picture of Baby: I have many, but don't have a scanner so I don't know how to post them!

8 Weeks: Baby Wolfe is growing at an amazing rate — about a millimeter every day — and now is the size of a large raspberry. He/she is looking a lot less reptilian (even though he/she has webbed fingers and toes, his/her tail is just about gone) and a lot more baby-like these days, as are his/her lips, nose, eyelids, legs, and back continue to take shape. His/her heart is beating at the incredible rate of 150 times per minute — about twice as fast as mine! And even though I can't yet feel it, he/she is now making spontaneous movements as he/she twitches her tiny trunk and limb buds. (Information taken from What to Expect's website).

Maternity Clothes: Nope...but my jeans are getting a little tight!

Weight Gain: Nope!

Belly: I can't tell but I think there is a little bit of a change!

Best Moment of the Week: Seeing baby Wolfe twice and getting an Anniversary card from Eli saying how he can't wait to have our baby! Its such a good feeling when he shows excitement about the baby!

Movement: I can't feel it yet, but baby is starting to move around this week! Can't wait to feel it!

Symptoms: Still feeling some nausea but have only vomited once so far! Lots of indigestion, nothing seems to settle very well. Cramping and stretching pains along with some back pain. The cramping scares me a little but I know its just the uterus growing for the baby!

Gender: No idea....but the last couple of days I have thought boy!

What I miss: Nothing compared to being pregnant....but I do miss riding on the Harley already and summer hasn't even started!

What I am looking forward to: My first OB appointment with Dr. B this Thursday!

Weekly Wisdom: Bleeding during the pregnancy is so scary but so common.

Milestones: Making it to 8 weeks and "surviving" a subchorionic hemorrhage.

Yesterday I had a follow-up ultrasound. The hemorrhage is still there but isn't measuring any bigger. Its about 1.2x.5 cm, which I have been told is very small. It also isn't near the baby or placenta. I haven't had any more heavy bleeding but some spotting, especially since the ultrasound. Baby looked good, heart rate 174 and measuring right on track :-) I couldn't believe how big baby has gotten! Yesterday you could see little arm and leg buds on the ultrasound and the umbilical cord. It was very surreal. Everything is very reassuring....I just need to relax about it all. Easier said then done!

Love, Kristen