I've been patiently waiting for 17 days to go by so that we could test and see if we were expecting a miracle. We were so close, but on day 16 at work I got my period...I was crushed. I thought for sure it would work this month, or I wished. This is so emotionally draining to go through. In the beginning of the month I am excited and hopeful and always seem to get let down. Its hard to go on when you have been hurt so many times each month. Its also very hard to get advice or listen to those who have never been through something like this. I know everyone tries to help but you just really do not know how it feels until you actually experience it first hand. However, I am very grateful for all the support I have gotten from family, friends, and co-workers.
So, after a few tears and a lot of convincing from my friends and family I found the positive side of getting my period. It came on its own without medication to induce it! Which has never happened in the 11 months I have been off birth control. So I guess that means I ovulated and my body is starting to work with a little bit of help. I thank god for this progress but hope for more next month.
Everyone always asks me "Isn't it hard to work in labor and delivery and go through infertility?". It is in some ways but I am actually not at all jealous or envious of my patients. Its my job and they need me. I can't let my life get in the way of my nursing care. Its more of the friends and family who I become more envious of. But my time shall come sooner or later and I just have to remind myself that.
My next appointment with Dr. Kopher is on Tuesday December 16th. I believe he does an exam before prescribing Clomid again. I am almost positive the plan will be the same as this month. Clomid, Ultrasound, Injection, Sex. I am going to ask him again about intra uterine insemination for this month. I talked to many doctors at work who have said to just do it to increase your chances each month a little more. I will see what Dr. Kopher says about that.
Onto a totally different subject, spur of the moment my best friend Molly and her sister and I have planned a short vacation to Mexico. I have been so stressed out with this infertility, losing hours at my job for budget cuts and Eli losing some of his stores that I am in need of a vacation full of relaxing! We are leaving Thursday December 18 and coming back Monday December 22. We have never done this and I am so excited. Spur of the moment trips are sure to be interesting.
Once again I thank everyone for caring and supporting us as we wind through this tough path we are on. Everyone is very much appreciatted by both of us.
I will update after my appointment with Dr. Kopher!
Kristen & Eli Wolfe