Monday, October 27, 2008

Update

I heard back from Dr. Baram and he said he does not want me to do another month of Clomid like we originally planned. He wants me to wait and see Dr. Kopher as soon as I can. I made my appointment with him on November 3rd, next Monday. I have so many questions to ask him, so I am writing them down so I don't forget! Hopefully we like him. I have heard that people either love him or hate him! I guess we will see. I am excited but scared to make this next step. An infertility doctor? I never though I would have to see one. I hope all goes well and I know I have such a great support system. Its amazing how many people have emailed me and sent good wishes our way. For that, we thank everyone. Its such a blessing to have wonderful family and friends! I will update after our appointment.
Thank you!
~Kristen & Eli

Friday, October 17, 2008

Ultrasound news...

Yesterday I had my ultrasound, which I was a little nervous for. Eli was able to come with me which helped a lot. He told me he couldn't come but then as I was getting ready to go he showed up at home ready to go to my appointment with me. He is such a great man! The ultrasound was at the HP St. Paul clinic on Wabasha. They did both an external and internal ultrasound. I didn't think I would find anything out until my doctor reviewed it, but there was a doctor who came in and read the ultrasound as the tech was doing it. He said my uterus looks great and there is nothing wrong with it, but my ovaries didn't look so good. He said they looked cystic and told me I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome or PCOS.
PCOS comes from the appearance of the ovaries-large and studded with numerous cysts. It affects about one in ten women in the US and is the leading cause of infertility in women. The exact cause of the syndrome is unknown but the condition stems from a distribution in the monthly reproductive cycle. Symptoms can include, irregular or no menstruation, infertility, enlarged ovaries with many cysts, excess androgen (male hormones, thank god I don't have this symptom!), obesity, skin tags and diabetes. Out of those symptoms listed I have at least 4 almost 5 but I wouldn't call myself obese :). Women with PCOS are more likely to have high blood pressure, high blood cholesterol, cardiovascular problems, liver disease, diabetes and sleep apnea.
I was devastated to hear this news. Its a relief to finally have an answer as to what has been going on, but I also didn't want something to be wrong. The doctor said this doesn't mean I can't get pregnant, it just means I will have a harder time. Interventions will be needed to trigger ovulation and then pregnancy. I have started my progesterone this month, but not my Clomid yet, so I will call Dr. Baram and ask him if he wants me to continue with this for the last month or now since we have an answer move to something else. Eli was a little saddened by the news as well. At first said he didn't want to go through any more invasive treatments, as he hates seeing me sad and wouldn't want me to get my hopes up to be disappointed if things didn't go right, but then agreed to do anything to have a baby. As I continue to take in the news and take for granted all of the other positive things in my life, I will continue to bring life and miracles into the world as a labor and delivery nurse and wait for god to give me a blessing and miracle of my own :).
~Kristen

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Update

Progesterone level from yesterday's blood draw was 1.2. I was kind of expecting that but its always hard to actually get the result. I made an appointment with Dr. Kopher today, the infertility Doctor, for some time in November. I figured he would be hard to get into so I decided to make it early. After my ultrasound on Wed I will start another month of HOT flashes, mood swings and cramping. Yeah, can't wait ;). Here's to good luck!
~Kristen

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Appointment

Today was my appointment with Dr. Baram. We went over my progesterone test results and he basically told me what I already knew. The results show that I'm not ovulating. Although, he still wants me to wait and take a pregnancy test next week. He said he has seen crazier things yet with women who are in the same situation as me, getting ready for another round of clomid with a low progesterone result and they end up preggo! I guess we will see!
His plan for the next month was to increase my dose of clomid. I will now take 150mg tablets for the 5 days. This is the last month he will allow us to try clomid if my progesterone levels are not changing. By the third month if they are not then I guess just increasing the dosage isn't going to work. The next step will be to send me to an infertility doctor, Dr. Kopher, to try injections of a hormone that should trigger ovulation. He also said with that there would be a lot of ultrasounds and maybe Intra Uterine Insemination. Lets just pray we don't have to go that far and that this month it works!
Dr. Baram is also sending me for an ultrasound of my left ovary because of my past surgical history. He wants to make sure it looks okay and is working. For those of you who don't know, long story short, I had my period for 8 months straight when I first menstruated at age 15. Went to the doctor they said it was normal for it to be irregular at first and kept sending me home. One day I walked into the office feeling faint, pale, headache and dizzy. My hemoglobin was 5.2 (should be 10-12) so they rushed me to Children's and found a grape fruit size ovarian cyst on my left ovary. Which was removed and immediately from there they put me on birth control pills to regulate my period. The doctors said it shouldn't affect having kids later, but they never said for sure. So my body really doesn't know what a normal cycle is and may never which may also be playing a role in all of this. So next week we will see what the ultrasound reads.
He also sent me to the lab today for another progesterone test. Just to see if it increases later in my cycle; today is day 24. I will re post when the results come back.
Thank you for every one's messages and support, I appreciate it very much!
~Kristen

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Frustration

I just feel the need to write something tonight. I don't know if its because I am at work, just heard about another friend who is pregnant or all the hormones I am on but I am just sad:( . I feel so alone. Everyone keeps saying "it will happen" and/or "stop trying and it will happen" and/or "take a month off meds and it will happen". I get so frustrated because not everyone knows about my past and what I am going through. We can't 'not try' and stop all meds because I don't get a period on my own and I don't ovulate on my own (right now I don't even ovulate with meds). Its so hard, I feel like crying all day but I know that won't help. I don't know what will help but I know as the months go on my job gets harder and harder to do and harder and harder to go to. I see Dr. Baram tomorrow afternoon and I have so much to ask him. I will write later today after my appointment.

Thanks for listening ~ Kristen

Monday, October 6, 2008

Diet Coke & Infertility?

Just thought this was interesting...
My mom called me today and said she heard on the 107.1 morning show that there are new studies out there that are linking diet coke to infertility. I was VERY dissappointed when I heard that. I love diet coke! I have at least 2 cans a day. I haven't read any studies on it, but I am guessing that its the caffiene they are worrying about. Its just interesting all of the different things that can play into how our body works. There is so much more we are learning everyday about how products used for many years are actually harmful to us and affect the way we work. Its amazing! I guess I will have to try and substitute my diet coke for something else. This will be my greatest challenge yet!
~Love, Kristen

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Test results

I got my progesterone test results yesterday. It was not good, in fact it was worse then the first month, 1.0.........I am so devastated. After crying and a few hugs and words from Eli and my mom I felt better but still sad and found myself thinking again how unfair life can be. Work just confirms this for me. There are women who are having babies and do drugs, don't take care of themselves, have no home, no family, no where to go but god has given them the gift of pregnancy. Why? No one will ever know, and I won't give up on god now. I even ask my grandpa Seviola who passed away in May to send me some luck and put in a good word for Eli and I! I hope he is listening.
I go to the doctor on Wednesday this week, so we will see what Dr. Baram has to say. Pray for some good news, like maybe the test was wrong :) (Hey I believe in miracles!)
Oh almost forgot, Dr. Baram suggested Eli have his sperm tested, so he did and he is good to go! Nothing wrong in that department. That's good news!



I thought it would be nice to start a blog so that everyone who wants to know about our journey trying to conceive can. I know a lot of people want to know, but don't know how to ask. I will try and update the blog as often as I can!

As many of you know, Eli and I got married May 3, 2008. Excited to start additions to our family, we started trying to have a baby before we got married, sorry mom & dad :). I stopped my birth control around January, hoping we could time it right, get pregnant on the honeymoon and have a baby before our 1 year anniversary! I thought it would go easily and never even imagined we would have trouble. You always think it won't be you. No one in my family had trouble so why should I, right? Wrong.
I went from January to the end of May without even getting my period!!! Yeah it sounds great, and it was, but not when your trying to have a baby. So, after the honeymoon, when in my "dream world" I was supposed to be pregnant, I decided to go and talk to an OB doctor. Because of where I work, I chose the best one I know, Dr. Baram and made an appointment. He did assure me that not getting your period was normal after taking birth control, but gave me a prescription for progesterone pills to jump start a period and get me on a regular schedule.
10 days and lots of cramping later, I got my period! I remember running out to tell Eli and he said, "Wow, I have never seen you so excited about your period". He was probably right! Now I thought, we can get pregnant, I'm getting a period and then I will ovulate and we will have a baby! Yeah!
Wrong again. I never ovulated. 2 months went by, another round of progesterone pills, no signs of ovulation. :( Back to Dr. Baram. On our third appointment, he decided to start me on a low dose of Clomiphene Citrate or Clomid. Clomid is a drug that can help you to ovulate. I was started on 50mg. Treatment from Dr. Baram was, take the progesterone on the third day of your period take the clomid for 5 days and have sex every other day starting on day 10-22, on day 22 come to the lab and have your progesterone level drawn. Wow! My husband will be happy I thought! Sounds like a lot of work, but I will do anything! And I have heard so many success stories on the first month of clomid, I thought this would be all we need and we would get pregnant!
The month went by. Again, nothing. No signs of ovulation, no positive ovulation tests and worst of all my progesterone level was VERY low :(. I can remember how excited I was when I called the clinic to get my test results and I can still hear the nurse say to me, "not this month hunny, sorry". I was so heart broken, why me? Why is this so hard for us? My level was 1.3, Dr. Baram said he would like it to be at least 4 or greater and even above 10 to have ovulated and keep a pregnancy. So, he decided to up the dose of clomid to 100mg with the same plan as last month.
Month #2 on clomid. On day 10-12 I had signs of ovulation!!! Yeah! Gail and See (two Ob nurses I work with) were in the bathroom with me when I found out and just ask them I was glowing with excitement! They were glad no one else was in the bathroom with us :) . Now I can't wait for my progesterone level this month, I just know it will be high! I am looking forward to pregnancyin the future, but would love to get the ovulation part down first!

Please pray for us! Love, Kristen & Eli