IVF Stim Day #6

Today is Stim Day #6! Time seems to be flying by! I had an ultrasound and blood draw yesterday and again today. There wasn't too much change in today's appointment vs. yesterday. My Estradiol level yesterday was 379 and I had some measurable follicles. I don't know my Estradiol level today, but I had 7 measurable follicles on the right and 6 measurable follicles on the left. That's 13 follicles!! I also have 20+ small ones on each side....but hopefully they stay small and don't start growing and make me overstimulate. Right now, everything is going perfect. The nurses don't believe I will have a problem with this cycle. Best news so far! The nurse did call this afternoon and said Dr. C wants me to start a third injection tomorrow. The third injection is a medication called Cetratide. Cetratide keeps me from ovulating on my own and holds all the follicles in my ovaries until another injection is given to release them. He also wants me to take 50iu of Follistim tomorrow night instead of 75iu. I go back on Sunday morning. Dr. C is following my care this week as Dr. M is on vacation.
I am really starting to feel my ovaries now. Sometimes painful, but most of the time a really "full"/bloating feeling. Not fun, but worth it in the end. Things seem to really be going well and we have only gotten good news so far......could this really be our ticket to success?? Can we really keep getting good news?? I can only hope...but still guarding my heart some. Please keep praying, its working!!

Love, Kristen & Eli

Stim Day 3

Today is Day #3 of Stimulation Medications and so far they are going well. I haven't had any side effects or injection site problems. I had my first blood draw this morning,w hich was a day early. In most IVF cycles Dr. M doesn't have his patients come in until Day #4, but again, because they are watching me closely he had me come in today. My Estradiol level was 156. The nurse called and said that was a perfect level, as they like to see between 100 and 200 on Day #4! She said for now I will continue with the same medication and same amount. My next appointment is Thursday morning, ultrasound and blood draw. Keep praying for good news!
Thanks for all the prayers, encouragement and support from everyone! Your sweet phone calls, messages and caring words help so much! Love you all!

Love, Kristen & Eli

IVF Cycle #1

We have officially started IVF Cycle #1......the first, and hopefully the last of our six potential cycles. Last Thursday I had my baseline ultrasound and was given the 'okay' to start stimulation medications today. The nurse practitioner who performed the ultrasound said my uterine lining looked good and my ovaries looked 'ready'. I took Menopur this morning and Follistim this evening. These injectable medications I have taken before, so I wasn't nervous starting them. Since I will be monitored closely, my first appointment is Tuesday and then almost every other day after that. For now, we just need to wait and pray. Wait for those eggies to grow and pray I don't get too many.
I can't believe this time is already here. I remember when they gave us this start date, seemed like forever away. I feel very blessed to be where I am right now, as I know many people who aren't as fortunate. We are that much closer to a miracle and the thought of that makes me so happy! Hope everyone had a great Christmas! I was going to share with you my favorite gift I received this year, however decided I will make a post about it another day. The gift is from my mom and has so much meaning to me. Hope everyone received a 'favorite' gift this year....

Love, Kristen & Eli

Getting Closer!!

6 DAYS UNTIL I START MY STIM MEDS!!!

Next Sunday, December 26th, I start my first stim meds. We are getting excited and nervous....and this package I received today didn't help my anxiety!

I was overwhelmed to see all this medication I will be using for ONE IVF cycle. I knew it would be a lot, but I got a whole new perspective since it arrived. I am going to have to follow my medication chart closely so I don't forget to take any medication, as most are time and day sensitive. All of this will hopefully be worth it!

One of the reasons I am most worried is that Dr. Malo said that the stimulation process for me would be the hardest part of IVF because of my past with Hyperstimulation. If we start this cycle and it is cancelled as a result of Hyperstimulation it is counted as one of our "tries". I would be devastated. Please pray that things work the way they should and my body responds just right to the medications.

My baseline ultrasound and blood draw is scheduled for this Thursday at 9:00am. Hopefully, things look good and we get the okay to start on Sunday. I also take my last birth control on Thursday, looking forward to that. This is all becoming so surreal as it gets closer, I can't believe its finally here. I am trying to stay positive and not think negative, some days are better then others. I am so used to disappointment in the past, that its hard to stay positive. Please pray I stay strong and send positive energy my way. I start acupuncture tomorrow to help with some relaxation and to stay centered. I will update tomorrow on how it goes.

Hope all is well with everyone and you are getting ready for Christmas! Its coming up fast!

Love, Kristen & Eli

Ready to Move on

21 DAYS UNTIL I START MY STIM MEDS!!!

( Not that I am counting or anything ;-)

People have asked for an update....but there really isn't any new updates at this point. I am still on birth control, which has screwed up my body. It makes me nauseated and have horrible headaches. I also have been constantly bleeding/spotting and cramping since I started taking them....but apparently that is normal ?? Took it for 10 years before and I never had those symptoms, but whatever. Still on Metformin, which makes me sicker then the BC pills. Diarrhea.....diarrhea....and yep more diarrhea....every time I eat. So much fun! It also makes me nauseated and vomit. I told Eli I will be so prepared to be pregnant and have "morning sickness"! Sucks....but I know all of this will be so worth it someday. I have also started taking a Prenatal since the RE nurse suggested it, those too make me nauseated! I feel like its never ending with the nausea.... As a result of all the nausea, diarrhea and vomiting I have felt like I have turned into a "neglecting wife". I never want to eat anymore, and food usually makes me sick so I haven't been making dinner...at all. Eli has noticed, but some days I just can't bear looking at food let alone cook it. I know he is understanding though. He feels bad I have been so sick. On the plus side I have to buy a new belt because mine is on the smallest notch and its too big! Not the best way to diet, but I can't help it. The next 21 days can't come soon enough I am ready to move on. I hope 2011 is going to bring good things ;-)

Love, Kristen & Eli

Nurse Consultation

Last Thursday, we had our nurse consultation appointment with one of the nurses from Dr. M's office. The appointment was needed to go over any questions we had and to sign two different contracts. One contract talked about the process of IVF and what to expect. The other contract was the cryopreservation of embryos consent. That consent was a little harder to sign, since it wasn't just a signature it involved answering some difficult questions, that I never even imagined I would have to make. We had to decide what we would do in different situations if we had frozen embryos. For example; what would we want done with our frozen embryos if I die? If Eli dies? If we get divorced? These questions were hard to answer. Those frozen embryos, if we have any, will basically be our "babies". It was not easy to decide what you would do with them. After some discussion we decided what we would do in each situation, well I did most of the deciding, Eli trusted my decisions :-)
The last part of the consultation was going over the medications that I will be taking. I was completely overwhelmed. I had no idea how much medication was actually involved in this whole process. I was given a chart with each medication listed on a day and time. Everyday involves a different medication at a different time and most medications are time sensitive! I am going to have to pay close attention! Here is a list of most of the medications:
*Menopur
*Follistim
*Cetracide
*Valium
*HCG
*Tetracycline
*Z-Pak
*Vivelle Patches
*Progesterone in Oil
*Lupron

Most of them are injectable medications, so I hope I don't end up with cellulitis like I have in the past. After the nurse described all the medications Eli said "Is that ALL she has to take?" and "Is that even safe for her?". Already worrying about me :-) Love that guy!
This consultation appointment was the last thing on the "preparation list". So now, we wait until December 26th when I start my first stimulation injection! I don't want to wish away the holidays since I love this time of year, but I can't wait to get started!
Hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving! I can't wait for Thanksgiving and of course Black Friday!!!

Love, Kristen & Eli

Confirmation

I got this email today!!

November 16, 2010
Kristen Wolfe
Elijah Wolfe
(Address)

Dear Kristen and Elijah:

Thank you for your participation in the Attain® IVF Program. This letter shall serve as confirmation that IntegraMed received $21,700.00 on 11/16/2010 as payment in full for your participation in the Program.

This payment will cover up to three stimulated IVF cycles and three frozen embryo transfers as necessary to achieve one pregnancy that results in the birth of a take home baby. Please refer to your participation agreement for Program details. Center for Reproductive Medicine - Minnesota will not issue you any additional receipt for services covered under this Program, as they will not be billing you directly for those services.
Please feel free to call me toll free at 1.866.YOUR.IVF with any questions. Thank you again for your participation in the Attain IVF Program.

Tammy Scott
Attain® IVF Program
Client Relations Representative
1-866-YOUR-IVF

Yes!! One more step closer!

Love, Kristen & Eli

SIS and Trial Transfer

I had my Saline Infusion Sonogram and Trial Transfer on Wednesday. The whole procedure took about 10-15 minutes. Dr. M did the Trial Transfer first. He took the same tube that they would insert the embryos with and did a trial. This test detects if there is a bend in the cervix or if it is straight, so that on the actual transfer date they don't have trouble inserting the embryos. Dr. M said that mine went right in! So good news there! Second he did the Saline Infusion Sonogram. A speculum was placed and my cervix was washed with betadine. Next, he inserted a similar, but smaller, tube as the trial transfer into the cervix and into the uterus. The speculum was removed and an ultrasound probe inserted. Saline was injected through the catheter and into the uterine cavity. The saline distends the uterine cavity and allowed Dr. M to take pictures of my uterus from the inside. The test detects polyps, fibriods, endometrial adhesions and more. Dr. M took about 6 pictures of my uterus. He didn't see any abnormalities or anything concerning! Good news there too! However, he did state that my uterus had an "indent" on the top but we already knew that from the Hysterosalpingogram I had about a year ago. The "indent" doesn't mean anything, Dr. M said that I was born with my uterus like that. Dr. M called it an Arcuate Uterus. It won't affect getting pregnant or keeping a pregnancy. Although, he did say he would make a note of it for the embryo transfer so that whoever does the procedure doesn't place the embryos on the top of my uterus.

Normal Uterus on Ultrasound

Arcuate Uterus (Close as I could find!)

Our next appointment is scheduled for next Thursday. We have an IVF nurse consult. This is where we will be going over our IVF contract and she will discuss more in detail. Please keep praying for us! Thanks so much for all your support!

Love, Kristen & Eli

A Hamster Baby ?!?!

There is so much "preparing" that comes with the start of IVF. Tests, blood work, appointments, consultations etc. Sometimes it feels never ending! Eli has been such a trooper through all of it and has been more then willing to do what he has to do to prepare. One of the tests that he had to do recently was a Sperm Penetration Assay. A PSA is a test that measures the number of sperm that are able penetrate an egg for fertilization. It is a routine test for those preparing for IVF as it determines the need for ICSI or not. ICSI, or Intra Cytoplasmic Sperm Injection, is a procedure that includes the injection of one single sperm into an egg that assists in fertilization. ICSI is used when there is male factor infertility including low sperm count, sperm motility less then 35% and/or poor sperm morphology.

I bet your thinking where does a hamster play in all this?!?! Its actually pretty funny! To perform the test they take a sperm sample and put it together in a petri dish or test tube along with a hamster egg!!!! They watch under a microscope to see what the sperm do around an egg. So last week, Eli's sperm were hooking up with a hamster egg! We thought it was pretty funny! The test came back at 100% penetration, the sperm knew what to do on their own. They also did a sperm count and it was amazingly high at 400 million active sperm! Great news all around, no ICSI for us! Thank god! When I called Eli with the results he said "so we have a hamster baby coming?!?!" So glad he can find humor in all of this! Makes this stressful journey a lot easier on us!

This Wednesday I have some tests that need to be done and next week we have a nurse consult where we will go over and sign our IVF contract! Wednesday I will be having a Saline Sonogram and a Trial Transfer. Both tests can cause a lot of cramping :-( so please think of me and pray for minimal to no cramping! I will update Wednesday after the tests!

Love, Kristen & Eli

The Start to our IVF Journey

WOW!! I can't believe how many responses I got back from people who want to continue to follow our journey! I feel so blessed and I'm in awe of all the support. Thank you! I also want to ask those who I invited to continue to follow that nothing be said about my blog. You can talk to me about it but PLEASE no one else. There are reasons why I chose to make my blog private and there are reasons why I didn't invite some to continue reading. Please don't talk about it to family members, Eli, co-workers etc. Please respect our wishes! Thank you!

Okay, lets start from the beginning. For the last couple of months Eli and I had been trying to find a loan or some form of financing for IVF. We were having a difficult time and were getting turned down loan after loan. The economy has made it almost impossible for one to get approved for any type of loan! I had basically given up hope that we would find the right financing option and had it in my head we would just have to wait and save the full amount. I was feeling a little sad about this, I just wanted to start IVF, I felt like we had waited long enough. Well we don't have to wait anymore, it all changed thanks to my amazing husband. A couple of weeks ago Eli came home with two dozen roses and a card. Inside the card was a check for the amount we needed to pursue our IVF dream. I fell into his arms and cried and cried and cried. Next to the day I married this wonderful man, this was the best day of my life! I asked him when we could start. His response, whenever you are ready. Ready! I have been ready for the past 3 years! The next day I made the confident call to Dr. M's office and we started our process!

Our first step was meeting with Dr. M, which we already did. We met with him a couple of Fridays ago where he talked about the process of IVF, the risks, the benefits and answered any and all questions/concerns that we had, honestly. We went over so many things. He said that the hardest part for me will be the stimulation part of the cycle. The goal of IVF is to get about 1-2 dozen eggs mature with out hyperstimulating. Since I have hyperstimulated in the past he was a little concerned about it. He said on average 90% of people get through the stim part just fine. We just need to make sure I am monitored closely and the dosages of stim meds are adjusted accordingly. This makes me slightly nervous, but hopefully I will be a part of that 90%! We talked about a lot of other things, that I will make a post about sometime soon. Its just too much for this update!

My next step was to jump start a period with Provera. They checked to make sure I wasn't pregnant and also tested to see if I had ovulated since my last period in July. No I wasn't pregnant. No I hadn't ovulated. As frustrating as that was to hear, I was ready to start the Provera. I took it for 10 days and 1-2 days following started a period. Three days later started birth control, which I am still currently on. I will be on birth control until sometime in December. At our meeting with Dr. M he said I would be on them for about 6-8 weeks. I was aiming for 6 weeks bringing us to the second week in December.....which I later found out wouldn't work. The Dr.'s take a 3 week "break" from IVF in December. Of course! My luck! What would this journey be without any bumps in the road, right? So, I start stim meds December 26th and our estimated transfer date is January 4-11th, 2011 ! It feels so good to finally have a date! There are still some tests we have to do before then, both Eli and I. Eli has had some of his done and I have mine scheduled.

This is all becoming so surreal and we couldn't be happier! After our meeting with Dr. M, Eli hugged and kissed me in the parking lot and said "We are going to have a baby". Best feeling in the world!!

Love, Kristen & Eli

I need your email !!

I can't believe the amount of people who want to continue to read our blog! I am thrilled! Please remember to leave me your email address, otherwise I can't add you. There have been interest by some who haven't left an email, so please do! Thanks again for everyone's support! As soon as I get everyone's email I will be making our blog private, LOTS of news to share already!

Love, Kristen & Eli

Going Private

I have decided to make my blog private. With all that is coming up, I would like our journey of IVF to be private and available only to those who we choose. If you would like to continue to follow my blog I will add your email to my list. Please email, facebook me or leave a comment on here with your email address in the next couple of weeks and I will add you! Thanks for every one's support! As we get closer we are getting SO excited!!

Love, Kristen & Eli

Garage Sale/Future Plans

WOW, we are so blessed!! The Garage Sale was a hit and we made around $2,000.00!! We were so surprised and couldn't believe it. Thank you to everyone who helped us with the sale and for helping us bring our dream closer to reality! We love you and thank you for your support, it is much appreciated!
On another note, Eli and I have decided to start IVF VERY soon. However, with that I have contemplated whether or not to continue to blog. I just feel like there is so much more to IVF and if we do get pregnant we might not want to share right away. I also have the option of making my blog private, but I am still so undecided. I will let you know and if your interested in continuing to read my blog I will add you to the list.
Hope everyone is well. Thanks again so much!!

Love, Kristen & Eli

Garage Sale/Benefit

Nothing much has changed over the past month. We are still trying to save money until we have at least half the amount to cover IVF. We have set up a separate savings account titled "Baby". I have been speechless and in awe of the things Eli has done to help us save and cut costs of things. He traded the Harley in for another Harley that has a cheaper monthly payment, sold his trailer, traded the truck in for a decrease in monthly payment, gets a small coffee each morning instead of a large and much more! (I will never get him to stop with the coffee so that is HUGE!) He has always supported me in my IVF choice, but now its like he wants to do it too and he is a different person about the whole subject. I love it and I love him that much more for trying hard to make this happen for us!!
We have also been asked by many if we are going to have a benefit or how they can help. It was mentioned to me by a family member that we should do a garage sale and whatever we make will go into our "baby" account. She said she recently went to a garage sale where the proceeds were going to a family trying to raise money for IVF and she donated just because of the cause. I liked that idea better then a benefit so we are going to do it. I have tried to spread the word to friends and family. We are asking if anyone has ANYTHING they want to get rid of and would be willing to donate it to our sale we would greatly appreciate it! We don't want people to feel obligated to donate. We are only asking for stuff you would most likely get rid of to goodwill or somewhere else. Please let me know by email or message on here if you have thing(s) to donate. If could be one item or a bunch of stuff. I will either pick up from your house or you are welcome to drop anything off at my house at anytime. We will be having the sale at the end of September so you have time! Again DO NOT feel obligated. I am so excited about this whole thing!!
Hope everyone is having a great summer as it is coming to an end too quickly!

Love, Kristen & Eli

Acceptance!

I got the call on Friday that we got accepted!!! AMAZING!!!! Finally some relief and good news in this crazy journey. Although we won't be starting right away, I can see in the future and it doesn't stress me out anymore because we have a plan and its almost guaranteed! The labs we used are good for six months, so the acceptance is good for six months. I hope to start in that time frame, hopefully sooner rather then later! Now to save $25,000.....anyone have any ideas how we can do that......fast!!!!

Love, Kristen & Eli

Day 3 Labs

Finally, AF showed up on Saturday, of course when we were camping, but whatever its here! So, yesterday I had Day 3 labs drawn. I was super excited to get everything sent in and wait and hear that I got accepted, until I talked with the nurse today about my labs. The two hormones they check are indicators of ovarian reserve, or in other words how well your ovaries are to stimulate. My FSH level was 5.1 which is under 6 and anything under 6 is considered excellent. However, my Estradiol level was 65, which is concerning. The nurse said its an okay number for them, but isn't sure what Attain's cut off is. The normal range is 25-75 and levels on the lower end tend to be better for stimulating. Levels on the higher end may indicate an existence of a functional cyst or diminished ovarian reserve. My heart dropped after she told me this. We HAVE to get accepted. This is our last chance at anything, we will not pay for cycles one by one without the money back guarantee. Please keep your fingers crossed that Attain will over look that number and base my acceptance on past cycles. We will know in 24-48 hours. This is going to be one LONG wait for us.

Love, Kristen & ELi

Big Step

We are getting ready to make a BIG step forward in this infertility journey of ours. My husband has decided we can do IVF....THIS YEAR!!! I was speechless when he told me, all I could do was hug and kiss him a million times over. Even though we are ready there are a couple of other things that need to fall into place; we need to save up some money as we want to put at least half down (1/2 way there already!!) and we need to be accepted into the Attain IVF program.

Once we decided on doing IVF, there was NO question that we would do the Attain program. This is a program that offers 6 potential IVF cycles, 3 fresh and 3 frozen with a money back guarantee. You pay the small fee of $21,700 and you are basically guaranteed a baby or you get 100% of your money back. However, its a program you have to be accepted into. So, right now I am currently inducing a period with Provera. As soon as AF arrives I will be getting a baseline ultrasound and will have Day 3 labs drawn. The results of that and all other past cycles will be sent to Attain. They will review it and will let me know within 48 hours if we are accepted or not. Please pray that we are!! I can't see paying for IVF any other way.

My husband and I have also talked about maybe trying just one more cycle of gonadotropins and IUIs.....but we are still undecided. IVF is SO expensive I think we both want to make sure we absolutely have to do it to have our miracle.

I have also been considering making my blog private. There have been some issues with people who read my blog and my facebook. Everything I write on here comes from me, NOT ELI. So if you have any questions about my blog, what you read, what you see etc. CALL ME, NOT ELI. He gets so irritated when people ask him things about the blog or MY facebook. This is our private life and is blogged about for my personal satisfaction and as a way to keep people updated. It is certainly not made for people to gossip about, make judgements about and to be talked about all the time. Please consider this, thank you!

I will update when I hopefully have good news about being accepted! Until then I will wait for AF to make her lovely appearance!

Love, Kristen

Rock Bottom

I have been so strong these last 4 months. Enjoying our break and relaxing, but lately I've hit rock bottom, again. I've cried, exaggerated everyday ailments into a maybe pregnancy symptom, criticized those with children in public under my breath, cried some more, felt bad for myself, gotten mad at my husband for no reason, and yes, cried even more. I don't know what brought all this on, but whatever did I hope it takes it away really soon. This sucks. Feeling this way sucks. I just want to be happy. I want to be the one who has a "I'm pregnant" facebook status, I want to be the one with the big belly, with the monthly ultrasound pictures, I want to be the one to know and find the love of a child, I want this more then anything. But I can't have any of it and it just doesn't' seem fair.
Please pray that this state of mind doesn't last long.

Love, Kristen

Failed Blogger!

I have decided I am a failed blogger. I just can't find the time to update! It seems like every time I sit and decide to write, I get pulled away doing other things! So, I am going to update a lot in this one!
Lets see where to start...

The last weekend in April we went Vegas!! I couldn't rant and rave about it before hand, because it was a surprise for my sister's 30th Birthday. She didn't know we were all going until she got to the airport and we were all waiting there. By all I mean, family and friends, I think there was 14 of us! It was such a great surprise and we had an awesome time! We stayed at the Hard Rock Hotel and partied with many celebrities including, Paris and Nikki Hilton and Lil' Jon! And while we were there I got my first TATTOO!!! It hurt like Hell, but I became addicted and already want another one!!

Waiting...SO SCARED!!

Tattoo Artist getting ready....

The Outline...marker only....

And he starts....Holding my husband's and brother's hands

Color

I don't have a picture of the finished product...I don't want to take one now because its healing and looks horrible. When it looks healed and stops peeling I will add a picture! I have to give credit to the tattoo artist who did it. He did such an amazing job, it looks like its air brushed on. People have even asked me if it real! I got the tattoo done in our hotel at Hart & Huntington. They are a more famous place, even have their own show!!

And some more good news came out of this Vegas trip. I was relaxing so much that my body decided to do some things on its own and I got a period!! Bad timing while on vacation, but who cares. I did nothing to bring it on, so hopefully it will continue. I was going to start taking my temps, BUT decided against it thanks from the advice from my good friend Amy! I am on a break and I will do NOTHING fertility related on my break. If you start doing things like that, then it just gives you a reminder everyday and you never get away from it. I don't need any reminders, I just need to relax and enjoy this time!

Last week, May 3rd, Eli and I had our 2 year Anniversary! I can't believe it has been two years already. It has gone by so fast! I love you Babe, thanks for everything you do. You are an amazing man and my very best friend. I love you with all of my heart! Hugs & Kisses and Happy Anniversary! I did work on our Anniversary, but came home to 2 dozen roses! I am so lucky!!

Well, that's most of what I wanted to update on! I am still going to try and be a better blogger, but for now I have failed!! Sorry!!

Love,

Kristen

Consult Appointment

A little update from last Friday:

I had been contemplating over having the ovarian drilling done since the idea was brought up to me. Last week I called Dr. Malo's office and asked if I could get more information on the surgery. The nurse stated that Dr. Malo doesn't perform that type of surgery himself, and that I should talk to my primary doctor. So I called Dr. Baram's office and he said he wanted me to make an appointment with him so we could talk about it, said it was a confusing subject. My appointment with him was last Friday. We went over some of the things I have done and then talked about the future. He said he isn't totally against the surgery and would do it but agrees with Dr. Malo; if we have the money and opportunity to do IVF than do that instead. He said there isn't really much information on the surgery and really no good evidence to back it up. He said they used to do ovarian wedge resections all the time, which is similar, but they don't perform that surgery much anymore because of complications.
I left the appointment with a definite answer about what I would do. No more going back and forth contemplating. I will NOT be having the surgery done. We will just wait until we have the opportunity to do IVF. I feel good about this choice and glad I seen my primary doctor about this and got his opinion.
In the mean time we aren't stopping trying to get pregnant we just aren't doing any treatments, so keep praying for that miracle!

Love, Kristen & Eli

Love you Babe!

Thanks for everything you do for me lijah! I love you more that words can say. I thank my lucky stars at night that I have you in my life. You are amazing and I'm so glad you are mine. Love you lots!

Love, your wife

Trying Harder

I am horrible at keeping up with my blog! I am sorry! I know people have asked for me to keep up with it better, and I am going to try! Since not much is going on in our "fertility world" I will update on other things happening in our lives!

We are still on our 'break' from everything, still going good. Spoiling ourselves in other ways right now. Eli bought a brand new Harley and has been spending much time on that. I love that spring/summer is coming but I never see my husband around this time of year. Is it weird to be jealous of a bike?? Ha! I on the other hand just got a brand new vehicle! I wanted something bigger then a car, thinking about our future :) So thanks to my lovely husband who spoils me rotten, I got a brand new 2010 fully loaded Ford Edge! I absolutely LOVE it!

Of course I had to get white. I have always had white vehicles, I didn't want to venture out and try something new now would I?? Not like me!

Love, Kristen

??Confused??

Most have asked us whats next?? Well, we are not sure and we don't even have that answer yet. I had a consultation with Dr. Malo about 2.5 weeks ago and asked the same thing "whats next?". He gave me three options:

1. Continue with injections and IUIs for a couple of more cycles
2. Go through a procedure/surgery called Ovarian Drilling
3. Invitro Fertilization

Eli and I talked and decided we are done with injections and IUIs. We did 7 cycles and although they were not all "good" cycles with "good" chances for a pregnancy we emotionally have gone through 7 cycles and that is enough.

Do we do ovarian drilling?? Its a surgery that involves a laser or cautery that makes holes into the ovaries to drain some of the cysts. Its practiced all the time in Europe and about 80% of the time it works, making you "Suzy Q regular" with regular periods, cycles and ovulation. And the other 20% of the time it does nothing and you waste your time on surgery that could potentially not work. It can also form scar tissue on the ovaries, adding another thing to the "list" of what is hindering my fertility. It would be good if it worked, but what if it didn't??

Then there is IVF, which costs A LOT of money, but is almost guaranteed to work and give us a baby.

We have a lot to decide on and we aren't really in any hurry. We are both enjoying this "break" and time with each other. For the last two years, the first 2 years of our marriage, we have been consumed with trying to have a baby. We haven't had time for each other or time to "be married". We had originally thought we would do IVF this August but now not so sure. Eli is having a hard time with spending the money and doesn't want to do it. Its not just the money but many other things as well. He says he misses his wife, the one he married. He misses having fun with me and not worrying month to month if we are pregnant or not. He misses me and wants me back. He knows how bad I want a baby and is willing to do IVF someday. I want us both to be ready and both feel its the right thing. He knows I will do it and is okay with that. Right now we can't put a date on it or a time limit. We need to concentrate on our marriage and mend the broken things that have happened already going through this difficult journey. Please continue to pray for us as we struggle through this thing called LIFE....

Love, Kristen & Eli

Stress Free

Things have been going well. This break has been good for me mentally and physically. I have lost over 10 lbs and have been a lot less stressful which feels like 50 lbs!! Eli and I have been staying pretty busy. He went to Wyoming for a week recently and I will be leaving next week for Florida. Its nice to be able to do what we want and go where we want, not having to worry about when we need to be home or at the doctor's office. During infertility treatments you feel like you have no control over your life. Having control back has been great! I will be going to Florida with my family; mom, grandma and aunt. We went last year and had an amazing time. I cherish every moment I get to spend with family, they mean the world to me. Last year I was on a 2 week wait and doing suppositories twice a day so I wasn't really able to relax. This year I WILL be relaxing and enjoying myself and I will even be able to have a few drinks this time around :)
I still haven't gotten a period yet so Dr. Malo does want me to take Provera to bring one on. He said it was important that I take Provera every 30-40 days to get a period. Waiting too long isn't healthy. I was in on Friday for a diagnostic ultrasound because I have been having left sided ovarian pain. The ultrasound showed a fluid filled cyst on my left tube. They ruled out a tubal pregnancy and took other blood work. Things seem to be okay, but they will check again after I get a period to see if it has resolved on its own.
As far as future plans....we really don't have any right now. I hope to be doing IVF by Fall but life and fertility are hard to plan, so we will see what happens. Right now we are focusing on each other and taking one day at a time! Keep praying for us!

Love, Kristen & Eli

New Year, New Me!

Happy New Year!! We have been so busy with all of the holidays I haven't had time to update my blog. Although we are not actively doing fertility treatments I would like to still update my blog on our family and life!
After our last fertility treatment the nurse instructed me to take Provera to get a period as soon as possible, not to have sex because of the possibility of getting pregnant on my own with that many eggs. Well, being the compliant patient that I am I didn't take the Provera right away....however we did not get pregnant. But one amazing thing happened, I GOT MY PERIOD ON MY OWN. Not with any medications, not after and ovulation induction, simply on my own. I have NEVER in my life gotten a period on my own. Hopefully, it will continue. I have started keeping track of my cycles to see what my body does on its own. Maybe the Metformin is starting to work ??? Whatever it is I hope it continues. This whole taking a break thing hasn't been so bad. I am actually liking it. Not having to go to the doctor, worry about taking an injection everyday, worrying and stressing if this month will be our month and I have felt "lighter" and more stress free lately. Although, I still do have my moments. The last one being yesterday at my mom's for New Years...to many pregnant people talking about their pregnancy....even though I am so so happy for them, its just plain hard listening to it when you want to be in their shoes so badly. No one would understand unless they have gone through it.
We hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and wish everyone good health and happiness in 2010!!

Love, Kristen & Eli